A tribute to my eldest brother, AKA Gomes, Neanderthal, Rastus McGillicutty and occasionally, Himself. He has been an inspiration, and overhanging threat much of my life. He can be jovial, physically intimidating, pose as an uncaring conservative positioned to the right of Attila the Hun, or a most profound philosopher. Shame I can never figure out which he is ... really.

His vocabulary is sprinkled with the refuse of Webster’s dictionary, a testament to being confined for a week with his two brothers to a cot while they all suffered through the whooping cough, then as the story varies - measles, mumps, dysentery, rabies, falling arches, and the gout. This was before yours truly was born, back in the Dark Ages – circa 1940 or 41. They were kept amused, as Dad had purchased a set of the Encyclopedia Americana. Typical words now escaping his lips include … plethora, asymptotic, hyperbole, nugatory, pontificate, thoracic, anthropoids, Australo pithecus, prithipanticus erectus, Neanderthal, and Impertinent twerp! One can assume that an insufferable windbag applies to me, but then one must be deciduous or coniferous to decide. Abstemious comes to mind, but one must be circuitous and reticent to offer an opinion; this might indicate symptoms of an abnormal proclivity. What, indeed, would the authorities say of this? One could be schnockered, or be ignominious or just pontificate. One must, of necessity, speak deferentially of Himself, in dulcet tones! Could one be obstreperous, or even proverbial? One must recognize that flatulence is rampant … Flatulentia rampantus est!!! One must recognize a certain Fondness for the Grape! Indubitably!!! Ratzen Katzen Fratzen!!! I can fix this; where is my hoozeejigger?

Stories persist, spoken in hushed tones that it is true, but one wonders - Are the Lobsters ready yet, dear? The Pooja of Baloop spoke thusly; “What is an appurtenance?” One has, of course, to exert due diligence, lest negligence be profligate and rampant. That situation would be tantamount to nugatoriousity.