BLOG POST 166

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 166

Process –  Progress as determined by page count, word count and percent stands as follows: total pages down to 171; total word countdown at 92.6 K, and percent is up to 58.5 percent. I continue to work several review segments simultaneously to maintain momentum.

Blog views has risen to over 6,000.

Finished reading another David Baldacci novel, Stone Cold. It features Oliver Stone, aka John Carr, and is an intense, action filled book. Great!

I made the point this reading to describe the previous setting, characters, even pointing out that the Saudis were the good guys, the Israelis the bad guys.  I get the uncomfortable feeling that some reviewers just don’t get it – can’t recall characters or settings from one week to another.  I may get to the same point myself, forgetful, mind rambling. But it is distracting.

BAM 21 September 2015 critique comments

BAM member  –

1.       First pages nice, clear action - thanks

2.       Not clear where action is – disagree, briefed it and words show it

3.       Prisoner confrontation not clear – working

4.       Wanted to see POTUS acting more upset – disagree, part of diplomacy (state dinner). POTUS must appear calm in face of disaster, impending war

5.       Good action – thanks

6.       Minor editorial changes – agree, working

7.       Suggested removing Colonel Daoud’s internal dialogue - disagree

BAM member  –

1.       Great detail, action - thanks

2.       Firefight was very well done – thanks

3.       Inside PILGRIM III POV not clear - working

4.       Minor editorial changes – agree

5.       Add Katz; impression of Hourani in confrontation – working

6.       Eliminate internal Hourani dialog – disagree

7.       Nicely done – thanks

8.       POTUS’ reaction lacks sense of urgency – disagree, part of diplomacy (state dinner). POTUS must appear calm in face of disaster, impending war

BAM member  –

1.       Lots of good, interaction - thanks

2.       Still don’t sense which characters are doing what, add personality – agree, working

3.       Minor editorial changes – agree, working

BAM member  –

1.       Liked tension and details; very good - thanks

2.       Characters change too often – disagree, story requires shifts

3.       Add personal insights to POTUS – agree, working

4.       Liked the originality and details of firefight; it felt real – thanks

5.       Confrontation of Israelis in PILGRIM II was intense, Wow! – thanks

6.       Liked humor of joking dialog as Katz keeps finger on trigger; kept it real - thanks

BAM member  –

1.       Moved well, coherent story - thanks

2.       Good descriptions of action, confrontation, surrender, POTUS – thanks

3.       Good details of helo engine destruction – thanks

4.       Good tension of confrontation between Katz and Saudis – thanks

5.       Minor editorial changes - working

BAM member  –

1.       Add sweaty palms for POTUS – agree, working

2.       Eliminate redundant use of Raheel Hourani – agree, working

3.       Change “Damn it all to hell,” not credible usage – agree, working

BAM member  –

1.       Minor editorial changes – agree

2.       No written comments

3.       Great details and lots of action - thanks

BAM member  –

1.       Liked lots of the story – thanks

2.       Don’t understand what is happening

3.       Want a story besides the fighting – disagree, the fighting and preparation for it are the story

4.       Read OK, but I don’t know what’s going on

BAM member  –

1.       Good description of a firefight – thanks

2.       Nice descriptive narrative - thanks