BLOG POST 208

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 208

The process –RWG monthly meeting/Christmas gathering -  Members conducted book swaps, exchanging my Kashan Kashmeeri with fellow RWG authors for the following:

            Bronwen Chisholm – Behind the mask – BUY!

I re-read a favorite book, Tom Clancy’s – The Teeth of the Tiger and David Baldacci’s The Collectors, Stone Cold, and Divine Justice. I’m getting a feel for detective genre as I research material for my future Murder and Mayhem series.

I found some free software programs on the Internet, installed them and converted PDF copies of my first two novels to Word format. My earlier copies had been lost when my external hard drive copies … went away with the wind. Now I can begin to edit and update the two novels into trimmer second editions, then publish them as Print on demand.

                        ****************************************

Ah, at last. I’m including a segment of my latest published novel – Kashan Kashmeeri – for your holiday enjoyment. The segments are selected to progressively go through the novel, giving you a flavor of its compelling story and tension. Enjoy!

                        *****************************************

T

hat flight, it was two years ago, actually twenty-six months. I’ll never forget what happened,” Khuman looked at Amir, uncertain if he should discuss a clandestine operation, even with a lieutenant general he knew, “It was the most terrifying day of my life.”

Amir looked at his colleagues’ face, “Colonel, just to be clear, the plan for that mission was mine. I authorized and funded that undertaking … well, actually Force Ten funded that flight.”

The aviator wrung his hands, “It was a long time ago; yet I’m talking about it for the first time. Everyone on the Op was sworn to secrecy. It started out as a normal flight, even if it was across several countries, at night and below radar coverage. An hour before we were to take off, we loaded and filled two fuel bladders, and two armed ATVs. Then heavily armed commandos marched on board, guarding four small strong boxes with painted out labeling.”

“I read the report of the operation, but much more went on that was not documented. Fill me in.”

“General, I was comfortable with the extra fuel, but I hated having those ATVs onboard. They could break loose and disrupt my plane’s stability. And those armed commandos made me nervous. My pre-flight brief covered just the route and little on the assignment.  I’d never flown black ops before … and we were flying a long, long way loaded for trouble. Even my plane’s insignia was painted over.”

“I expect you figured out what we were doing by the time you got back?”

“Yes. We flew to a clandestine airfield to meet a black market arms dealer and get some old missiles.”

“That didn’t all show up in the TOP SECRET report.”

“Far more than that happened. When we landed, three armed pickup trucks surrounded my plane, blocking takeoff. We positioned ATVs and guards to provide our own security. The situation was scary as hell,” the aviator said. He squirmed, sweat rolling off his brow despite the passage of two plus years.

“I thought we’d been set up, my plane would be stormed, and we’d all be killed. C-130s are a premium item on the black market and we were in a precarious situation. I nervously kept two motors running.” Khuman’s forehead wrinkled with anxiety, “Our men were confronting theirs. Takeoff seemed impossible and we were outgunned … and I didn’t have a clue what was going to happen.”

“Go on.”

                                    *********************************************

BAM 09 Jan 2017 critique comments

BAM member –

1.      Good addition - thanks

2.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

3.      Easy to follow – thanks

4.      Focus more on Bai in second scene, seemed formal – agree, working

5.      Questioned meaning of Mick spraying in bathroom – for fumes, with deodorant

BAM member –

1.      Very easy to follow – thanks

2.      Enjoyed, nice flow – thanks

3.      Enjoyed conversation – thanks

4.      Three mentions of use of humor – thanks

5.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

6.      Questioned whether Bai would know her brothers’ emotions – yes, grew up together

7.      The characters seemed real – thanks

8.      Dialogue seemed too mushy when Bai teared up - agree, working

BAM member –

1.      POV is strong – thanks

2.      Unclear whether POV was Maria or Bai in second section - working

3.      What does “tepid” mean – tentatively, weakly

4.      Thought mentioning “this” as reference to dinner theater was brilliant

5.      Correct POV shift on first page – agree, working

6.      Thought baseball video playback review non-existent – in use by MLB since 2009

7.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

8.      Suggested deleting obvious statements of feelings – agree, working

9.      Correct POV error at end – agree, working

BAM member (New member) –

1.      Dialogue seemed too formal when Bai teared up - agree, working

2.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

3.      Correct POV shift on first page – agree, working

4.      Remove “Life’s not fair” as obvious, implied – agree, working

5.      Questioned mention of academic paper reflecting feelings – disagree, intentional

BAM member (New member) –

1.       Still learning what to look for

2.      Are all the characters made up (fictional) – Yes

3.      No written comments

BAM member (arrived too late to participate) –

1.       No verbal or written comments