BLOG POST 176

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 176

Process –  Progress as determined by page count, word count and percent stands as follows: total page count went up to 212; total word count up to 94.1 K, and percent went up to 73.0 percent.

Software to assist writers ---  Dragon, Naturally Speaking, one fellow authors’ experience – it became too hard to train it to learn to understand what she said. Another author uses a program which reads back his segments. He finds it helpful.

Computer problems … backups … recovery and last known configuration … Boot to SAFE MODE, then I selected  SYSTEM RESTORE, and selected a specific saved RESTORE POINT. It worked. I also ran clean disk, then disk check. Most recently I made a new CD of SYSTEM REPAIR data files.

Today’s’ critique session felt encouraging. I find the reviewers are most interested in action segments.

BAM 14 December 2015 critique comments

BAM member –

1.      Minor editorial changes – agree

2.      Questioned spelling of Thach Weave – correct as written

3.      Explain the Thach Weave – agree, working

4.      Questioned whether identification of F-5s meant F-4s – No, I chose and used two different aircraft

5.      Suggested rewording several sentences to shorten – thanks for suggestions

6.      Questioned reason for the Captain vomiting – the stress of aerial combat

7.      Remove reference to ballet steps – will consider

8.      Add sensory cues about low fuel state – agree, working

BAM member –

1.      Minor editorial changes – agree

2.      Liked that action was apparent – agree

3.      Reduce telling, increase showing – agree

4.      Suggested adding the instructors’ call sign he couldn’t pronounce – disagree, would be superfluous

5.      Emphasize the tension created by announcement of DEFCON ONE – agree, working

6.      Liked tension of request for missiles prior to flight – thanks

7.      Good chapter with plenty of realistic action – thanks

8.      Good description of fear and tension – thanks

9.      Really liked - thanks

BAM member –

1.      Minor editorial changes – agree

2.      Much better (than last segment reviewed); good chapter – thanks

3.      Suggested adding the instructors’ call sign he couldn’t pronounce – disagree, would be superfluous

4.      Explain the Thach Weave – agree, working

5.      Reduce usage of “unless” – agree

6.      Questioned multiple mentions of sweat soaked flight suits – needed to emphasize stress of combat and heat of desert

BAM member –

1.      Better sequences of action, tension – thanks

2.      Minor editorial changes – agree

3.      Too many words, details – will consider

4.      Explain the Thach Weave – agree, working

5.      Change klaxon to siren - agree

BAM member –

1.      Minor editorial changes – agree

2.      Questioned use of klaxon – agree

3.      Liked descriptions of tactics and when used – thanks

4.      I was able to follow chapter easily – thanks

5.      Very intense chapter; the dialogue and details are good – thanks

6.      The action is great; great chapter - thanks

7.      Questioned RJAF – identified as Royal Jordanian Air Force before

8.      Questioned RTB (Return To Base) - agree

BAM member –

1.      Minor editorial changes – agree

2.      Suggested changing “exuded” – disagree

3.      Explain the Thach Weave – agree, working

4.      Suggested starting segment at declaration of DEFCON ONE – disagree, done before in prior segment. This was at base; but will elaborate about reaction on base

5.      Questioned what a SIDEARM was – disagree; identified earlier as radar homing missile

6.      Show how upsetting the low fuel alarm was – agree, working

7.      Questioned what was meant by jinn – a desert spirit, like a devil, genie

8.      Questioned whether at end whether pilot or instructor was the hero – agree, the young pilot

BAM member –

1.      Minor editorial changes – agree

2.      Very good, easy to follow – thanks

3.      Fast paced, lots of action – thanks

4.      Lots of detail, smoothly introduced; liked the dogfight – thanks

5.      Liked the twist of blood in instructors’ vomit – thanks

6.      Good wrap up – thanks

7.      Better than prior version (improved) - thanks

BAM member –

1.      No written comments

2.      Much better, better focus - thanks