BLOG POST 160

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 160

Process –  Progress as determined by page count, word count and percent stands as follows: total pages up to 173; total word countdown up to 93.4 K, and percent is 47.9 percent. I continue to work several review segments simultaneously to maintain momentum.

BAM 17 August 2015 critique comments

BAM member  –

1.       Minor editorial changes – agree

2.        Didn’t follow use of “lunch” “launch” -  subtle humor

3.       Reads well – thanks

4.       Suggested remove “”and I’m in the middle of it.” – disagree, the MD’s insight

5.       “It was” doesn’t fit – agree, working

6.       Thought water truck destroyed – no, only hit with fragments

BAM member  –

1.       Well written, continues to get better  – thanks

2.       Minor editorial changes – agree, working

3.       Didn’t follow use of “lunch” “launch” -  subtle humor

4.       Felt “sonofabitch” overused – agree, working

5.       Suggested use different word for “frazzled” – agree, working

6.       Reads very well and keeps you going; well done – thanks

7.       Good ending, funny - thanks

BAM member  –

1.       Suggested no use “It was.” – agree, working

2.       Minor editorial changes – agree, working

3.       Clear and fast moving – thanks

4.       Lots of repetitive names, Ben Bedoo – disagree; father (MG), son (Cpt) – foreshadowing

BAM member  –

1.       Liked the action – thanks

2.       Kept wanting to read more – thanks

3.       Enjoyed the humor sprinkled in - thanks

4.       Good description, verbs used – thanks

5.       Questioned use of “lunch” “launch” -  subtle humor

6.       Questioned use of “sonofabitch”, “shit” – disagree; they’d just been bombed

BAM member  –

1.       Liked the action  - thanks

2.       Good descriptions  – thanks

3.       Liked the inklings/hints about water truck – thanks

4.       Enjoyed last line – “Duck!” – thanks

5.       Good dialogue between Anh and Tooley – thanks

6.       “It was” doesn’t fit – agree, working

7.       Good use of humor – thanks

8.       Enjoyed having kids in description - thanks

BAM member  –

1.       Liked the action - thanks

2.       Anh and Tooley’s dialogue artificial - working

3.       Remove “It was.” – agree, working

4.       Is Tooley the POV – at points

5.       Suggested rearranging search for locators and weapons – agree, working

BAM member  –

1.       Very interesting action  - thanks

2.       Unique dialogue  – thanks

3.       Good cut, back and forth in scenes  – thanks

4.       Was able to follow without getting lost – thanks

5.       Interesting development - thanks

BAM member  –

1.       Enjoyed the humor, especially “Duck!” - thanks

2.       “Ghoutra” not understood – traditional male Saudi head gear

3.       Reads well, I understood and followed   – thanks

BAM member  -

1.       Liked the action and comedy - thanks

2.       Minor editorial changes – agree, and disagree

BAM member  –

1.       Makes you hang on - thanks

2.       No written comments