BLOG POST 259

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 259

BAM 06 August 2018 critique comments

BAM member –

1.       Not enough passion, emotional connection to maintain interest - will rework

2.       No emotional aspects are apparent – working

3.       Show, explain why will, HT, LC are passionate about their lives – agree, working

4.       Abbreviations for names is grating – deal with it

5.       Explain how Gephardt got down the well – agree, working

6.       Said it a shame the sisters never get a dime – story not over yet

7.       Minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       Advances the story – thanks

2.       Show how Rem is seeing in well – agree, working (light bar)

3.       Explain how Gephardt was able to go down the well – tackle found in shed

4.       Explain how three detectives communicate when one is down the well – agree, working

5.       Make dialog more linear, rather than hopping around – agree, working

6.       Very little known about M – agree, that was the plan

7.       Minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       Correct punctuation – agree

2.       Too much grinning and shaking of heads – agree, working

3.       Story is moving along – thanks

4.       Only M is evident as the killer – agree, that was the plan

5.       Minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       Getting there, progressing – thanks

2.       Ensure sentences depict what’s in your head – agree, working

3.       Simplify or shorten sentences – agree, working

4.       Improve awkward sentences – agree, working

5.       Moving towards story resolution - thanks

6.       Numerous minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

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Thus far my draft has reached 50.3K words and a draft page count of 179, of which 69 have been reviewed.