BLOG POST 213

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 213

I’ve been very, very distracted by the news, trying to sort out the real, actual versus alternative,  emanating from Washington. The conflict raises my anxiety for this country and our values. I’ve spent numerous hours reading and being depressed by the news. My reactions appear in another blog – please FOLLOW.

                        www.hopeinthecenter.blogspot.com

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The process –

Here is another segment of my latest published novel – Kashan Kashmeeri – for your holiday enjoyment. The segments are selected to progressively go through the novel, giving you a flavor of its compelling story and tension. Enjoy!

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The Commander In Chief folded his hands on the table and pursed his lips, “Be back here tomorrow at 08:00, before the Vice President and SECSTATE fly off to the sand box. Bring your inputs on how to keep the friggin sky from falling.”

S

ECSTATE and VPOTUS were already in the air, flying east to the center of the quagmire. Thursday mid-morning in the WHSR, and more BREAKING NEWS was in everyone’s mind. Ellington smiled, felt like his team was enroute, about to make a difference. He moved his fingers on the remote; the TV’s volume amped up.

     The commentator’s voice came on. “CNN has more for you our listening audience, a new Middle East update. Syria has just informed the UN and the US Embassy in Damascus that it would not permit military aircraft to transit its airspace enroute Israel. Listen later today for the latest world news on this CNN station.”

POTUS muted the TV, looked around the Situation Room, “Guys, our Ambassador in Ankara just informed us that Turkey has invoked a ‘no fly’ region in accordance with some obscure UN resolution, yet Turkey stated it wished to remain part of NATO’s collective security.”

“The Turks and Syrians, maybe they just want to stay out of the line of fire,” DeVries stated as she moved closer to the Vice President’s chair, the two now video conferencing enroute the Middle East on Air Force Two. “No one wants other countries’ armies massing next door. That could be the real concern here. I’ll try to decipher it, take action to inquire about these developments.”  She looked as VPOTUS nodded concurrence.

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ate that afternoon the NSC reconvened, its live secure link with Air Force Two re-enabled. Peckingham was briefing information newly received from Riyadh, “Mister President, Arabia, at DEFCON ONE as you recall, agreed on a framework to enter Jordan and train defensively.  The declaration states that Jordan and Arabia neither support, nor will they act to oppose, the coalition. Additionally the intention was stated to prevent incursions into land, sea, or air spaces by Iran or Iraq.”

Ellington suddenly looked worn, “Any new moves by either the Saudi or Jordanian militaries?”

“Yes, Mister President. Their AWACS are up 24/7 now; and they’ve got Combat Air Patrol or CAP assigned, two sections. That’s four fighters armed with every missile they could hang on them. The AWACS are even controlling some Jordanian CAP. The planes seem to be mostly along their respective borders with Iraq, with orders to shoot if borders are crossed. This is a dangerous new twist.”

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The working draft of The Next One now stands at 53 pages reviewed.

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BAM 13 Feb  2017 critique comments

BAM member –

1.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

2.      Correct POV shifts, pick one and stick with it – agree, working

3.      Good addition, nice flow, pace – thanks

4.      Developing romance apparent – thanks

5.      Delete second mention of Cannery Row – agree

6.      Flowed well, good dialogue – thanks

7.      Erotic scene not overdone, credible - thanks

BAM member –

1.      George seems to get in his own way often – was my intent to portray him as socially clueless

2.      What is the real attraction between these two – George said she was “most beautiful women in the world.” Bai is falling in love with him, gradually, building a relationship.

3.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

4.      Explain how George had known taxi driver in Monterey – agree, but driver is a throwaway character

5.      George’s reaction/response to Bai’s saying room felt chilly seemed too formal – thanks, he does have social deficit disorder

6.      Clarify how George knows taxi driver in Monterey – agree, working

BAM member –

1.      Correct POV errors – agree, working

2.      Was confused about George reserving two rooms in Monterey motel, giving up one for other (honeymoon) couple

3.      Suggested incorporating waiter to deliver meal at Monterey bay restaurant – agree

4.      Confused about intention of Bai’s response to George’s suggestively moving his fingers across her palms

5.      Provided explicit comment about cuddling – will ignore

BAM member –

1.      Really different from previous segments – thanks

2.      Good details and descriptions – thanks

3.      Felt she was walking through Monterey with characters - thanks

4.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

5.      Love scene done well - thanks

BAM member –

1.      Addition was good – thanks

2.      Bai would find George’s science talk boring – correct

3.      Questioned why Bai is “so” provocative (socially, sexually) – she’s young, interested, wants to improve his social skills

4.      Missed whether Serge in Orange county was taxi driver in Monterey – will clarify

5.      Questions about POV – agree, working

BAM member –

1.      Agreed with others comments

2.      Nicely done - thanks

3.      No written comments –

BAM member –

1.      Left early – no comments