BLOG POST 205

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 205

BAM 21 Nov 2016 critique comments

BAM member –

1.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

2.      POV usage improved – thanks

3.      One of better additions – thanks

4.      Reduce use of “Chica” – agree, working

5.      Shorten description of the “kiss” – agree, working

6.      Expand the break in phone conversation, show Bai’s reaction – agree, working

7.      Segment moved well, very good - thanks

BAM member –

1.      Not aware of previous sections – are the women in college – yes

2.      Dialogue realistic, liked it - thanks

BAM member –

1.      Usage of POVs has improved – thanks

2.      Take advantage of expanded POV descriptions – agree, working

3.      Reduce use of “shook her head” – agree, working

4.      Shrink description of Mamo – agree, working

BAM member –

1.       Flowed smoothly – thanks

2.      Reduce use of “he” – agree, working

3.      Conversation/dialogue modern and realistic – thanks

4.      Cool imagery – thanks

5.      Very few critiques - thanks

BAM member –

1.       Dialogue better, easier to follow - thanks

2.       No written comments

3.      Very good - thanks

BAM member –

1.      Numerous editorial comments – thanks, incorporated

I participated in two local author events recently, at local libraries. Coupled with the second of these was receipt of printed copies of Kashan Kashmeeri. I now have copies to sell person to person at the upcoming Riverside Writers Group Christmas gathering, and at any events I attend.

A full twenty four pages of the upcoming sequel to the Tessera Trilogy – The Next One, have been reviewed. Many, many more to go, but the process is in motion. The Next One is set in 2012 California, and its main characters are the next generation of characters from the trilogy novels.