BLOG POST 195

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 195

Progress as determined by page count, word count and percent stands as follows: total page count went down to 181; total word count inched down to 97.6 K, and percent increased to  98.2 percent.

RWG 11 June 2016 critique comments

RWG member –

1.      Urgency of war realistic – thanks

2.      Resonates with me as a reader – thanks

3.      The tone is exciting; political dialogue feels real – thanks

4.      Politicians lying to each other seems realistic, enjoyed it - thanks

RWG member (new member) –

1.       Pace too fast – disagree

2.      Narration jumps often without leadins – agree; working

3.      Use characters to describe feelings - agree

4.      Minor editorial comments – agreed with half

5.      Rodolofo too poetic in his words – agree; working

6.      Reword “mélange of prayers” – agree; working

RWG member -

1.      Show how Commander-in-Chief tensed – agree

2.      Describe age of kids sooner – agree

3.      Identify town – done in earlier segment

4.      Clarify APC – armored personnel carriers – agree; working

5.      Minor editorial changes – agree; working

RWG member –

1.       Questioned meanings of CRITIC and BROKEN ARROW – described, defined earlier

2.      No written comments

RWG member –

1.       Suggested describing “ethnic embellishments” – agree; working

2.       Change Peace to lower case – agree

3.      Name Israeli family as participants – disagree; they’d be throwaway characters

4.      No written comments

RWG member –

1.       No written comments provided

2.      One of your best; your writing is improving – thanks

3.      Questioned whether “Kibbutzim” was a realistic Israeli family name – working

4.      Action and plot clear; some language too flowery – agree; working

5.      POTUS wouldn’t speak that way (blunt) – disagree

6.      Couldn’t establish the story, flow - working