BLOG POST 191

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 191

Progress as determined by page count, word count and percent stands as follows: total page count went down to 192; total word count inched down to 98.5 K, and percent increased to  91.2 percent.

BAM 02 May 2016 critique comments

BAM member –

1.       Minor editorial changes – agree; working

2.      Good addition, sees the desperation of the attack  – thanks

3.      Uncertain what CBU meant – cluster bomb unit

4.      Hard to visualize the ebb and flow of the battle - working

BAM member –

1.      Good continuation – thanks

2.      Questioned inclusion of poetic section; suggested starting chapters with them – working

3.      Minor editorial suggestions – agreed with most, working

BAM member –

1.      Stronger, less confusing than prior battle scene - thanks

2.      Baffled by use of poem; use at start or end of chapter - working

3.      No written comments

BAM member –

1.      Take out the POV shifts – agree; working

2.      Remove the poem stanzas, they slow the reader – agree, working

3.      Good addition, enough dialogue to satisfy reader – thanks

4.      Good pacing - thanks

BAM member –

1.       Good addition - thanks

2.      Liked poem, but not as positioned. Suggested placing at end or start of chapter - working

BAM member –

1.      Impressed by use of poem - thanks

2.      Suggested placing poem stanzas at end or start of chapter - working

3.      Still have trouble with the action scenes, inner dialogue - working

BAM member –

1.      Liked addition, could follow - thanks

2.      Liked use of poem – thanks, working

3.      Good flow – thanks

4.      Watch out for shifts in POV - working

BAM member –

1.       Minor editorial changes – agree with most; working

2.      Good wrap-up of tank battle; easily followed - thanks

BAM member –

1.       Better to follow - thanks

2.      Poem too hard to follow; doesn’t fit – working

3.      Immolated used twice – agree; working 

BAM member –

       1.  Flowed well, could follow – thanks

       2.  No written comments

BAM (new member) –

1.      Pre-reading brief helped

2.      No written comments