Blog Post 139

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 139

As of 13 January 2015 Kashan Kashmeeri stands at 163 pages, 83K words.

The results of most recent BAM critique session suggests it is time to summarize, if I haven’t done it before, the critique and update process. I gather all verbal and written comments, though some reviewers seem unable or unwilling to put their suggestions, criticisms, or thoughts on paper. One BAM member in this most recent review session provided comments which were so out in left field as to be unworthy of generalization. Meds may be more important than we think.

My update process works like this – I take my notes of the verbal comments as I wrote then hurriedly while reviewers were providing them, plus their written suggestions and mark up the master copy from which I read. Then I go through each reviewer’s markups, identifying them by name if they didn’t do that. I request the reviewers at the top of each segment to identify themselves. Some reviewers have proved to be of greater value in terms of their critiques; others are of less value in a literary sense … providing just what I deem fluff if you will.

I mark up my master as I go through each written set of comments, giving my evaluation in terms of whether the comments are good, to be ignored, included, or just to note to myself with satisfaction their suggestions or observations.

I then go through a separate controlled computer copy of what I read, inserting changes, highlighting where research or more thought is needed. I print off a copy and review it critically, seeing that I’ve accounted for all suggestions. 

I also then take the collection of reviewers’ comments, by name, and make a separate computer copy without attribution. This last becomes the basis of Posts to the Tessera Trilogy Blog.

After these are done I cut and paste the corrected segment back into the master controlled version of the whole novel, adjusting line spacing, font type and size, and inserting any DROP CAPS as definers of separate portions of the book. As I may use all these blogs for a book on writing, control of versions, like in software configuration management, must be strictly observed. Archives preserve the variant versions, comments, and separately the same for the Tessera Trilogy Blog.

BAM 12 January 2015 critique comments

I provided a brief introduction – Tooley and Anh married, a child. All moved to Paris, London, the War Zone.

BAM member  –

1.       Good description of travel – agree

2.       Liked decisiveness of Anh rushing to door – agree

3.       Good writing – Thanks

4.       Correct split infinitive – agree, reworking

5.       Liked use of “ivy grew absent mindedly” - Thanks

BAM member  –

        1.  Liked segment, you’ve committed to emotion – Thanks

        2.  Good travelogue, then ratcheted to fast emotion –

        3.  Confused than Amir, Munirah et al not informed of Marta’s death – agree, reworking

        4.  Time disconnect about Stefano going to Rome - agree, reworking

        5.  Asked why the use of growing tension – disagree

        6.  Minor editorial changes – agree, disagree (use of poor English)

BAM member  –

1.       Sophia seems disconnected with what comes after – reworking

2.       The friends would know of Marta’s death – agree, reworking

3.       Dramatic segment, but different from previous – agree

4.       Needs more introduction to strife of family - disagree

5.       Why did Amir propose a faster travel plan – evolving story

6.       Spell out BP - agree

BAM member  –

1.       Off the wall comment about third person point of narration – disagree

2.       Interesting story and characters – agree

3.       Asked if Amir had four wives, and of wine – No, disagree

BAM member  –

1.       Agreed with others, timing is off – agree, reworking

2.       Liked description of “absent minded ivy”, well done - Thanks

        3.   Liked use of “words too hard to say” – agree

        4.   Minor editorial changes – agree, disagree (use of poor English)

        5.  Good show of emotion when explaining the death - Thanks

BAM member  –

1.       Liked description of kids and counter tops - agree

2.       The “tattered black ribbon” shows time had passed, friends would know of Marta’s death – agree, reworking  

3.       This was some of your best writing - Thanks

4.       Minor editorial changes – agree

5.       Writing and imagery great – Thanks

6.       I’m confused by time line - agree, reworking

BAM member  –

1.       Mystified by flowers by roadside, did they indicate funeral – no; reworking

2.       Timing is off, 1993, 1994 - agree, reworking

3.       Minor editorial changes – agree

4.       Thought flowers by road might be from funeral – not, working

5.       Second use of flower imagery beautiful, juxtaposed with imminent danger - Thanks

BAM member  –

1.       Agreed with most of others comments, liked the mystery, hesitation in the phone conversation – agree

2.       The description of Italian highways is accurate, like I remember – Thanks

3.       The “tattered black ribbon” was an Aha moment – agree

4.       After above, timing threw me off (went to Rome for four years) - agree, reworking

5.       Can’t believe Stefano and Sophia wouldn’t tell friends - agree, reworking

6.       Nicely painted picture - Thanks

BAM member  –

1.       No written comments

2.       Wonder when, or why Marta died – car crash, reworking

3.       Wondered why their meeting had to be then – agree, reworking