Blog Post 138

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 138

As of 10 January 2015 Kashan Kashmeeri remains at 160 pages, 80K words. Much work ahead.

A surprising development from the Writers Group - a meeting was been called for a one-time-only critique session for materials of an adult theme. The person posting the call seems an unlikely originator, so I expect it was another RWG member who set the ball rolling.  I attended  and participated in the critique.

Follow-up  Observation – At the Adult theme critique session I was quite surprised by the suggestions, poems and prose segments brought out. While I can’t see the social value of explicit prose I suppose there are writers whose imaginations spur their need to write such material.

It was suggested that the new group put together an anthology of adult themed materials, ranging from humorous mild sexual suggestion to explicit material. The group agreed that bondage perhaps should be excluded. Several absent writers with potential interest (or who used other activities as an excuse for missing the meeting) suggested that perhaps there was wider interest. One of the segments reviewed was very graphic and explicit sexually … surprising from the age of the author, a grandmother. One attendee mentioned having gone (in jest) to Confession before coming. Asked whether I would participate in future reviews, or submit any material I said my work on Kashan Kashmeeri, TNO, research into a detective novel, and family research keep me quite busy enough.

After the session was over I confronted the BAM member who had made what I considered an unprofessional, gratuitous, non-constructive, and condescending cheap shot in review of my last segment. I said I hoped his comments did not signal a turn of BAM reviews to a darker direction. He apologized several times.  It is not easy trying to write, and I expect reviewers to be constructive. I’ll keep that hope. The BAM member apologized again at the RWG meeting. 

RWG 10 January 2015 critique comments

I provided a brief introduction – Tooley and Anh had married, and had a son. All cousins moved to new positions in Paris, London, and the War Zone.

RWG member  –

1.       Realistic and credible dialogue – agree

2.       Thought use of “smirk” was good word choice – agree

3.       Uncomfortable with use of “can’t disclose location”, as a given – working

4.       Thought Anh relearning Vietnamese a nice touch of irony – agree

5.       Enjoyed use of “spice things up” as reality of life - Thanks

RWG member  –

        1.  First part good, blended well with Stefano’s conversation – agree

        2.  Still uncertain where story going – agree

        3.   Better than last segment, better flow – agree

        4.  Suggested Stefano think about safer locations - agree

RWG member  –

1.       “Editor” technique not advancing the story, too esoteric - agree

2.       Some segments had good descriptions, but they don’t hold together - working

RWG member  –

1.       Missed first part of story

2.       Good dialogue and interactions – agree

3.       There is building expectation of disaster, good - agree

RWG member  –

4.       Overall OK, enjoyed – agree

5.       Questioned mention of gun safety course - agree

        3.   Liked use of prayer beads – agree

RWG member  –

1.       Good continuation of story - agree

2.       Suggested changing “smacked” to “punched” – agree

3.       Tension building about what Stefano is about to experience – agree

RWG member  –

1.       Better, more believable – agree

2.       Thought “smirk” was negative term, not between a couple - disagree - smile in an irritatingly smug, conceited, or silly way.

3.       Suggested minor editorial change – agree

4.       Reads well – Thanks

5.       Liked description of discussion of warzone conversation – agree

6.       Liked description of fear of soldiers at front - agree

RWG member  –

1.       Liked dialogue - agree

2.       Thought “warmth of their passion” was corny – disagree

3.       Story rang true, want to read - Thanks

RWG member  –

1.       Enjoyed – agree

2.       Thought “smirk” was negative – disagree

3.       Intrigued by Stefano – Thanks

4.       Thought there was disconnect between Tooley and Anh about talk of war – disagree

5.       Thought use of knowing sunrise was a good metaphor - Thanks

RWG member  –

1.       Didn’t like use of smirk, thought meant one was in doghouse – disagree

2.       Had problem with use of phone to war zone, about time zones, whether cell phones existed – disagree, two hour time zone change applied, cell phones did exist.

3.       Suggested incorporating Anh’s response to Tooley’s phone suggestion – agree

4.       Liked the dialogue, questioned the secrecy of Stefano’s location - agree

RWG member  –

1.       Suggested using grin vice smirk – disagree

2.       Concerned with time zone impact on phoncon - disagree

RWG member  –

1.       Enjoyed dialogue – agree

2.       Liked more show than tell with characters – agree

3.       Thought use of “warmth of their passion” was corny - disagree

4.       Liked insight about not wanting more children after Bai – agree

5.       Liked character insight on Stefano - agree

RWG member  –

1.       Enjoyed smirk, hang on to it - agree

2.       Minor editorial change – agree

3.       Enjoyed banter and dialogue – agree

Before the RWG meeting there was a brief discussion of the adult theme meeting and its outcome.  I shared a brief summary of its major points. I said before the RWG meeting that if our minds didn’t fantasize at some points we wouldn’t be here.

I feel there is questionable social or writer value to having or participating in an adult themed writers group, email forum, or anthology. At the RWG meeting one member sarcastically mentioned going to Confession both before and after the meeting. I interpret that as suggesting minimal support, and attendance as mere curiosity.

Coming up in a future RWG meeting, guest speaker (and RWG member) Greg Mitchell will talk on “How to know when your writing sucks … and what to do about it.” Sounds like required attendance.