BLOG POST 202

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 202

Ideas from recent RWG monthly meeting/Parade of Prose –

Develop a marketing plan. Status below:

Create a marketing logo – to do

Changed Yahoo mail signature to reflect updated POD status.

Investigate use of WORDPRESS blog

Revised FB photo – complete.

Pursue CRRL Local Author event.

Participate in regional Local author events

Pursue signings at wineries, microbreweries.

Establish a more marketing oriented BLOG

CreateSpace is an online site which offers an interactive method to self publish. Proof copies, with review and update/change ability are fesatured. Sizes, cover help is available at minimal cost, and proofing utilizes link to pursue parallel sale of books through eKindle. Royalties seem appropriate. Authors can purchase copies through CREATESPACE at cost.

I purchased a Proof copy of the novel and selected express delivery. After I detected some weakness in the finished product I took the proof to the Monday night critique session. I asked several of those present to make suggestions about the cover of the Kashan Kashmeeri proof copy. They suggested better definition (higher DPI count), and resizing the finished book’s spline. Additional suggestions include transposing and resizing author and Title, and retaking the cover photo.

I have a working list of minor editorial changes to make, in addition to a redo of the Kashan Kashmeeri cover.

The Next One - the sequel to The Tessera Trilogy, has gone through additional Books-A-Million (BAM) critique sessions. Results are encouraging that the novel has potential.

BAM 17 Oct 2016 critique comments

BAM member –

1.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

2.      Suggested changing Gawd to God - disagree

3.      Felt song Hey Macarena was dated – disagree, came out in 1995, after the women born

4.      Asked if George’s thoughts were out loud – agree, a POV conflict, working to correct

5.      Questioned frequent use of “Chica” – part of the character and speech of the women

6.      Overall pretty good – thanks

7.      Suggested shortening dialogue – agree, working to improve

BAM member –

1.      Great addition and excellent imagery - thanks

2.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

3.      Questioned what Bai was saying in response to “That’s soooo lamooo” to – disagree, his statements noted in text just above

4.      Felt Bai’s emotions were “all over the place” – agree, she experienced relief at his positive reaction to revelation of her study, then he got all brainiac – working

5.      Great dialogue - thanks

BAM member –

1.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

2.      Condense George’s thoughts about reacting to “unfamiliar situation” fits – agree, working to improve

3.      Suggested rewrite of section with George’s discussion of brain waves – agree, working to improve

4.      Questioned if George was a psychiatrist; reduce psychological analysis - agree, working to improve. His IQ of 197 and quirky character still apply

5.      Suggested attribution for apparent quote about trees and village – disagree, my words, working to improve

BAM member –

1.      Oh shit mentioned too often – disagree, part of the women’s character

2.      Felt there was too much dialogue - disagree

3.      Add more conflict – agree, working – agree, working

4.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

5.      Didn’t like George instructing on brain waves – disagree, part of his quirky character, but will condense

6.      Felt there was too much use of “Oh shit!” - disagree

BAM member –

1.      Questioned use of many different POVs – agree, working to improve where appropriate

2.      Minor editorial suggestions – assessing

3.      Questioned if Mierda was Spanish for Oh Shit – it is

4.      Backhanded compliment about the imagery of George’s twisting his ankles – thanks

5.      Suggested change to adverb “comfortably” to fit sense of paragraph – agree

6.      Questioned the women’s comments in front of George – disagree, use of “whispered” and “added quietly” imply private

7.      Asked how George knew the study was about a person – agree, working to improve

BAM member –

1.       George comes across as mysterious – thanks

2.      George obviously listening to and learning about the women – thanks

3.      Not sure where story is headed - working

4.       Like the story - thanks

BAM member –

1.       Good continuation - thanks

2.       No written comments

BLOG POST 201

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 201

The Next One - the sequel to The Tessera Trilogy, has begun to take form. It has suffered through, and survived its fourth Books-A-Million critique session.

One reviewer was very negative with all readers, even suggesting to them poems, poets and prose works as samples for them to model their segments on. After sensing a prevalent negative body language reception, the critiquer declined to offer comments on one reader’s segment, saying it was an unfamiliar genre, then abruptly left without explanation. This person needs to have an attitude adjustment … perhaps a margarita.

Riverside Writers Group (RWG) meeting – The RWG met on 08 October.  The meeting’s theme was the annual Parade of Prose. The meeting featured a training session on Publishing and Marketing your work. Two other RWG members, Dr. Dan Walker and John Wills, both published authors, were assisted by yours truly. Some critical information resulted from this session – Createspace.com will assist in creating, proofing, and marketing your work …. For FREE. I’m pursuing that avenue at the moment and anticipate my third novel, Kashan Kashmeeri, will be available via Print On Demand (POD) within the month.

Guest Speaker and author Joanne Liggan gave RWG members an interactive, well received presentation - “Giving your story CPR.” Other highlights included two Open Mike sessions, and a Prose Jam.

A fellow RWG member, Shelia Chambers, has just published: Damn The Nanny.

BAM 10 Oct 2016 critique comments

I requested the reviewers to tell me if my dialogue represented too much of, or appropriate portion of the story, and to evaluate the dialogue as to its credibility.

BAM member –

1.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

2.      Improve description of female characters – agree, working

3.      Replace use of “museums” with better word - agree

4.      Move description of George’s clothes before detection of his cologne – agree, working

5.      Move identification of Pedro nearer to Maria’s knowledge of him – agree, working

6.      Transpose descriptor location of “seat cushions” and “hard to catch” – agree

7.      Interesting continuation of story – thanks

8.      George comes across as a subject in a petri dish – thanks

9.      Maria comes across as mercenary – disagree, will work to clarify

10.  Use inner dialogue only as sarcasm, to keep opposing thoughts from listener - agree

BAM member –

1.      Great details, excellent descriptions - thanks

2.      Liked use of humor – thanks

3.      The women sound so mischievous – thanks

4.       Move description of stove vent hood – agree, working

5.      Remove “Bai twirled strands in her fingers.” – will move to different paragraph

6.      Loved use of “Splain” – thanks

7.      This is absolutely beautiful. I love it.” – thanks

8.      It flows and the dialogue is on spot. Very, Very well done. – thanks

9.      The girls are very lively and in modern time - thanks

BAM member –

1.      Very interesting story, more modern setting (than trilogy) - agree

2.      Cute dynamic between the women – thanks

3.      I like George’s character very much - thanks – working

4.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

5.      Catches readers attention, can relate to characters - thanks

6.      Best writing so far – thanks

BAM member –

1.      Your dialogue is fine, you’re setting the scene for these three characters - agree

2.      Good descriptions of settings, especially the women - agree, working

3.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

4.      Thought  use of “hypothesized” was too uppity – agree, working

5.      Shorten some sentences – agree, working

6.      Spell out “splain” – disagree, shown as based on I love Lucy cliche

BAM member (new member) –

1.      Add more description about women’s’ clothing, how low blouse was – agree, working

2.      Play with accents and ethnic descriptions – agree, working

3.      Some foreign phrases seem “thrown in” – disagree, part of culture to suggest foreign language skills even if not conversant

4.      Add how the women stand, whether cleavage shows – agree, working

5.      Show how others see them as they walk down street, in supermarket – agree, working

6.      Add more description of settings – agree, working

7.      Show how confident the women are in themselves – agree, working

BAM member –

1.      Questioned use of many different verbs to get around saying “said” – disagree; working to use a variety of verbs which tie to bodily actions

2.      “Exposition” wasn’t working for him, felt it was one step away from looking in a mirror –

3.      Don’t need to “speed up” in George’s home, slow down for dialogue – agree, working

4.      Numerous minor editorial suggestions – assessing

5.      Felt description of George’s height was “oddly precise” – disagree

6.      Skip description of making fajitas – disagree, part of ethnic connection with characters and cooking

BAM member –

1.      Well written, except it drags - working to improve

2.      Of describing margaritas said “Why do I care?”- disagree, part of social setting and experiments

3.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

4.      Thought use of “splain” was clichéd – agree, but part of characters’ character

5.      Shorten, speed it up – working

6.      Eliminate “cutesy” phrases – disagree, part of characters’ character

7.      “Why do I care? – disagree with negative attitude obvious with each reader

BAM member (new member)  –

1.       Loved the parrot – thanks

2.      You write humorously – thanks

3.      Good descriptions of characters and settings - thanks

4.       No written comments

BAM member –

1.       Good continuation, speed it up - working

2.       No written comments

BLOG POST 200

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 200

The Next One - the sequel to The Tessera Trilogy, has begun to take form. It has suffered through, and survived its third Books-A-Million critique session.

This is the 200^th blog posting, a milestone of sorts. Hooray for me.

BAM 26 Sep 2016 critique comments

BAM member –

1.      An interesting piece – thanks

2.      Maria sounds like a mercenary – disagree, but working to clarify her character

3.      Correct point of view shifts – agree, removing or correcting

4.      Consider deleting or moving section on George at his home - disagree, working to  improve

5.      Dialogue good, lots of humor – thanks

6.      Good, interesting character study – thanks

7.      Liked analogy of mirror cracking – thanks

8.      Numerous editorial suggestions – agree, working

BAM member –

1.      One example of description in dialogue sounded like High school term - agree

2.      Need to increase imagery to portray the settings – agree, working

3.      Reads very well, dialogue good, but lengthy – thanks

4.      Marked several paragraphs with “funny” – thanks

5.      Good flow – thanks

6.      Marked paragraph – “So surreal women talk like this” – thanks

7.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

8.      Improve imagery to show how the women look – agree, working

BAM member –

1.      Questioned location of dinner - agree, working to revise yet leave the tension

2.      Identify where and when agreement made about location of dinner – agree, working

3.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

4.      Liked use of sarcasm in dialogue – thanks

5.      Questioned location of section on George at his home - working to  improve

6.      Clarify how Maria and Bai know of George’s home – agree, working

BAM member –

1.      Lots of good dialogue – thanks

2.      Identify speakers – disagree, where you marked they were named

3.      Define “squzzed” and its meaning – agree, working

4.      Minimize the use of adverbs – agree, working

5.      Shorten, tighten up dialogue – working

6.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

7.      Identify to whom George was speaking – agree, working

BAM member –

1.      Really liked, good writing – thanks

2.      Was unsure if Bai was an assassin - No

3.      Identify who Maria is – identified in prior segment

4.      No written comments

BAM member (new member) –

1.      Define “squzzed” and its meaning – agree, working

2.      Correct point of view shifts - agree, working

3.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

4.      Identify setting of sections of dialogue – agree, working

BAM member –

1.       Liked it, but confused with placement of paragraph on George – agree, working

2.       No written comments

BLOG POST 199

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 199

The Next One - the sequel to The Tessera Trilogy, has begun to take form. It has suffered through, and survived its second Books-A-Million critique session.

BAM 19 Sep 2016 critique comments

BAM member –

1.      Felt story delved deeply into Bai’s POV, felt she might be a psych student – agree, working

2.      Identified a point of view shift – agree, removing

3.      Questioned spelling of boogey – agree, corrected to boogie

4.      A good piece, but dialogue strained – agree, working

5.      George comes across as a rat in a cage being experimented on – thanks

6.      The main character is socially awkward; that works – thanks

7.      You paint a quirky piece, building interest in what he will say, do it works - thanks

8.      A number of minor editorial comments – agree, working

BAM member –

1.      Questioned speed of apparent relationship - agree, working to revise yet leave the tension

2.      Some of the dialogue is forced – agree, working

3.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

4.      Thought description of character in elevator was gold – thanks

5.      Lengthy paragraph on page four didn’t work – agree, working

6.      Thought saying the character fit in so many categories was gold – thanks

7.      Too soon to share some of these feelings, thoughts with a stranger – agree in part; working

BAM member –

1.      The jumping dialogue is disjointed, but matches George’s personality – thanks

2.      The interpersonal problems make it interesting – thanks

3.      The best you’ve brought – thanks

4.      No written comments

BAM member –

1.      Much better writing than earlier novels – thanks (I think)

2.      Liked the dialogue and character introspection – thanks

3.      The characters are very good – thanks

4.      There is a big professional jump between first and second paragraphs – working to improve

5.      Loved use of “life coach” – thanks

6.      Develops well, several smiley faces on paragraphs – thanks

7.      Mentioned a Vietnamese restaurant with similar atmosphere – thanks

8.      Cute ending - thanks

BAM member (independent member) –

1.      Make chapters more clearly in one characters’ POV – agree, working

2.      Numerous, massive editorial suggestions – agreed with most and incorporated

3.      Thought “Miss Not a Killer” was use of good flirting – thanks

4.      Improve dialogue to reflect more realism – agree, working

5.      Suggested changing “Racing” to “Revving” – disagree

6.      Remove identifying colors in the scene with “fallen Republic” – disagree

7.      Correct the implied meaning of descriptive phrase -“not the robot part” – agree

8.      Delete last paragraph of page 4 – agree, working to reword, place elsewhere

9.      Reword or delete awkward last sentence – disagree, fits character’s persona. Will rework.

BAM member –

1.       Rather endearing, liked it a lot  – thanks

2.       No written comments