Blog Post 113

Tessera Trilogy blog post 113

Kashan Kashmeeri is marching slowly along. The draft now stands at 50K words and 96 pages, but these counts will grow as research data on Israeli, Iraqi, Iranian, Turkish, Egyptian, Jordanian and Saudi militaries are drafted and incorporated. Credible names in the various nationalities, along with real (or imagined) squadrons, battalion numbers and Call Signs are being developed. Lots of research is underway on tanks, artillery, aircraft and missile forces and organizational structures.

************** I am looking for unpaid volunteers who are willing to act as technical editors of story segments as they move into draft format. ***************

DP Tolan’s newest novel is now available as an eBook from -   http://www.scribd.com/doc/196782721/Sooley-Base ,  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/sooley-base-dp-tolan/1118050437?ean=9781483516486 ,  https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/sooley-base/id792893884?mt=11 , http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/sooley-base/9781483516486-item.html , http://www.pricecheck.co.za/offers/57712072/Sooley+Base/ ,  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Sooley%20Base&sprefix=Soole%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3ASooley%20Base , and http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sooley-Base-Tessera-Trilogy-Tolan-ebook/dp/B00HQM9KEW

So you can see you can buy it over the Internet from England, South Africa, or in the good ole USA.

I would REALLY APPRECIATE any reviews you have on the two novels. Thanks!

Blog post 112

Tessera Trilogy blog 

Happy New Year. Good health to you all.

Last minute cleanup of Sooley Base involved removing all links to Amazon.com and B&N to comply with fine print with BookBaby.com, and reshooting the cover to comply with type of format and size required.

The final novel of the Tessera Trilogy, Kashan Kashmeeri, is now a work in progress. Most characters transition from Golden Gate and Sooley Base, plus new ones. New excitement awaits, new intrigue, new twists.

Kashan Kashmeeri has been collected of bits and baubles of plot, characters, and timeline; the task remains to put them in better sequence and into credible dialogue. There are currently 72 pages and 38 thousand words in the working copy, but LOTS of segments are being researched and slowly integrated into the novel.

Beyond KK, two other novels are in the works – TNO, and PD. I can’t spoil it and tell you more, but they have preliminary characters, plot line and action.

If you’re a poetry fan, check out the coming issue of the Riverside Writers Group anthology. It should be available the end of March through the RWG website …

http://www.riversidewriters.com/newsletter.html

Also, if you’re interested in a detective romance story with great plot twists … see Judy Allen Hill’s newest novel – The Secret Diary of Ewan Macrae at http://www.amazon.com/The-Secret-Diary-Ewan-Macrae-ebook/dp/B00F13N3MI

Joanna Bourne, Deanna Raybourn, and Susanna Keasley are three New York times best selling romance novelists whose books are noted at the “Allaboutromance” website, or  http://www.likesbooks.com/ . They came to our local library …Meet three dynamic New York Times bestselling authors, Deanna Raybourn, Joanna Bourne, and Susanna Kearsley, at a Salem Church branch reception. Deanna is the author of the popular Lady Julia Grey and Nicholas Brisbane mystery series; Joanna writes the Spymaster historical romantic thrillers series; and Susanna's works have been compared to those by Diana Gabaldon, Daphne du Maurier, and Audrey Niffenegger. Deanna, Joanna, and Susanna will discuss their books and answer questions. The reception will include a book signing and refreshments.  The three spoke to a full house of enthusiastic readers and they shared innumerable insights about writing. Among there were: The only thing as intellectually equivalent to writing a novel is composing a symphony’; In the middle of every novel (I’m writing) is the end of my writing career.”; “We’re all just story tellers.”; “ Write like you speak.”; “A good writer gets a little bit weird.”; “I prefer my characters to my neighbors.”; “Heroes (in my novels) drive awesome cars.”  One of the authors wrote a book published by Penguin Books whose title is “Black Hawk.” She (Deanna) stated that the title was not of her choosing, and when she questioned Penguin about the choice of “Black Hawk” none there admitted to knowing that a Black Hawk is a US Army helicopter of significant notoriety.  …   Any wonder I self publish and choose my own titles.

Blog Post 111

Tessera Trilogy blog post 111

Sooley Base word count stands finally at 93 K and page count at 194.

I have been blessed by the constructive criticisms of the Riverside Writers Group for Sooley Base. Additionally several supportive folks have helped with the cover of the novel, and with critical suggestions on helicopters, submarines, and medical protocols. These folks have been extremely helpful, but there have been some other no shows. This relates to the whinery, as a bit of whining is appropriate in all writing.

Several others were approached to review and comment on segments dealing with military maneuver tactics. One even agreed. Neither, however, provided any comments. Writers need to be realistic and realize that sycophants exist and will disappoint you, smiling and suggesting or promising support … but failing in the final analysis. Sad but true!

Another note of interest. DP Tolan had to resize and reshoot the cover several time to achieve the correct file size, vertical/horizontal proportions, and file format before BookBaby.com would finally accept all the bits and pieces. It all came together on Christmas day.

Characters can make or break a novel, but that’s at the main character level. Ancillary, drop in characters can add humor, provoke thought, or just be forgettables. A few characters in Sooley Base were chosen for comic relief, though readers would have to be (I guess) looking for that angle.  Qwen Chiu, Hu Faht,  and several other character names were chosen with tongue in cheek. An author has to have a sense of humor, and see what he/she can sneak by the readers.

Costs of putting together a novel. It helps that both sides of just about every sheet are used; it’s a green thing. I tried to be Green in another way, reusing words that had been used before. Printer cartridges – I refilled one many times. The average number of sheets per cartridge had averaged about 175, but I managed to get to over 800 copies by refilling that one cartridge before it gave up the ghost. And let’s not forget the blog updates; they take time and energy.

As a new marketing concept, patterned after a successful RWG novelist’s approach, a signature block will be designed and included in future emails. It will include links to RWG website (as member), and links to the Golden Gate sales points and Tessera Trilogy blog. It can’t hurt to advertise.

Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Joyuex Noel, Bon Natale, Chuc Mung Yang Sing, Mele Kaliki Maka, Kala Chrisuyena ( my apologies for trying this phonetically).

Blog Post 110

Even as I read I noted some necessary changes, and have incorporated those. The effort goes onward, if slowly. Word count now stands at 93.5 K and page count at 190, but these will vary as the draft moves towards final form.

The Riverside Writers Group just held their end of the year meeting, accompanied by a choral group from Spotsylvania High School, and a member singing in Hebrew. Awesome holiday delicacies were shared by members … then the library abruptly closed due to inclement weather.

The glossary that were planned have been eclipsed, with all terms defined within the text.  Narrative segments are swiftly being transformed into dialogue.

Sooley Base will be available for eBook readers through Barnes & Noble and Amazon.com by the end of the year. The publisher, BookBaby.com, unfortunately is not set up to market two novels in one package. So the new novel will be on sale for $3.99.

The dedication and acknowledgements for the novel have been finalized. Let me share the list of those who have contributed to Sooley Base, and again say THANK YOU!

LCOL Tom Kovach, USMC, attack helo pilot

LCDR John Vilcheck, USN, submarine officer

Robin Bohnen, RN, medical terminology and protocols

Rob Ryan, friend, shared views on life

Alex, recent GMU graduate, book cover, and insights into flow, dialogue

Meriem Hadji, book cover artwork.

Sinjin Nedland, book cover artwork. 

BLOG POST 109

Editorial critiques from review of draft segments from Sooley Base

1)       Editorial suggestions – agree; in process

2)      Eliminate use of viewgraphs, slides – disagree, part of genre

3)      Minimize use of BOLDING for emphasis – partially agree, part of  technical genre

4)      Minimize exclamation points as emphasis – agree, in process

5)      Set the scene better – agree, in process

6)      Reduce technical narrative – agree in part

7)      Incorporate character reactions – agree, in process

8)      Increase tension in segments – agree, in process

9)       Use less poetic language – agree; in process

10)   Improve flow – agree, in process

11)   Accentuate character personalities – agree, in process

12)   Identify speakers – agree, in process

13)   Read dialogue for effect before finalizing – agree, in process

These suggestions come at a point where the majority of the novel is in final draft, yet they expose segments which need help before going to market. 

Blog Post 108

Tessera Trilogy blog post 108

Even as I read I noted some necessary changes, and have incorporated those. The effort goes onward, if slowly. Word count now stands at 89 K and page count at 184 (down from 190), but these will vary as the draft moves towards final form.

Chapters require renumbered and resized and in many cases will be re-titled.  Roughly two- third of the pages are in final draft form.

Thanks to two agreeable fans who agreed to provide assistance with the cover of Sooley Base.

On other front in the war with words, DP Tolan has been otherwise distracted, putting together characters, a timeline and story for a novel beyond the Tessera Trilogy, even beyond TNO, which follows the trilogy.

Why I write …

Well, I always have, making endless ‘to do’ lists, writing journals to records high, and low, points of travels, and shared genealogy records. You can’t really do those things and not write, or be an engineer in the Navy and not draft numerous messages, meeting briefs, et cetera.  Beside the technical slant from Navy days, I acquired along the way a style which didn’t match up with novels. So as a member of the RWG I found my style needed changes, big changes. But I continued to write, and improve.

My favorite authors include Tom Clancy, James Patterson, and Michael and Jeff Shaara.  That tells you I like a mix of technical, historical adventure.  So with those greats as inspiration, I have a way to go to find my eventual style.

Oh, and I also write because I want to share what the voices tell me!

Blog Post 107

Even as I read I noted some necessary changes, and have incorporated those. The effort goes onward, if slowly. Word count now stands at 90 K (down from 95K) and page count at 190 (down from 198), but these will vary as the draft moves towards final form.

Chapters require renumbered and resized and in many cases will be re-titled.  Roughly two- third of the pages are in final draft form.

A segment of Sooley Base was read and critiqued at November RWG meeting. I distinguished between male and female members because there is a substantive divide between males, who understand, appreciate military terminology, and females, who don’t. The following editorial critiques were received from RWG members:

RWG female member –

            Good visuals – no change

            Confusion as to character identity – Agree, working

            Suggest use “sound” vs “turbulence” – Agree, working

            Terminology “Guns 88” unclear – Disagree, genre

RWG female member –

            See Clancy’s “The Sum of All Fears” re bomb bursting, how the plane

                        crashed, the blood ran  – will consider

RWG female member –

            Liked inflection reading – no change

            Lost as to who was talking – agree, working

            Unclear what “fletchettes” were – Disagree, but working

            Missed technical terms – Disagree, genre

            Recommend not using “hunting season” twice – Agree, changed

            Exciting – no change

            Unclear if helo is Huey is helicopter – Disagree, no change

            Enjoyed reading – no change

RWG female member –

            Full of action, motions – No change

            Targeted to a particular audience, familiar with military – No change

            Clearer writing than two years ago – Agree, no change

            Writing better, improved – Agree, no change

            Easy to follow visuals – no change

            Usage of military terms – Agree, no change

            Style improved, much better - Agree

RWG male member - 

            Unclear what watch standers are – Disagree, genre

            Clarify “red wristed man” – Disagree, covered earlier

            Questioned use of “helo’s turbulence” – working

            Second page, POV conflict of “all his life” vs I’d see – working

            Second page, conflict of “They felt” vs “He banked” – Agree, working

            Liked “He had a permit and it was hunting season” – Agree

            Last page, first sentence weak – Agree, working

           

RWG female member –

            Didn’t know what (action) came before – understood

            Used too many acronyms – Disagree, genre

            Too many technical areas – Disagree, genre

RWG female member –

            Question of identity of speakers – Agree, working

            Unfamiliar with “kluged” – Disagree, no change

            Liked “ripple fired” and helo “maneuvers” – Agree

            Unfamiliar with “fletchettes” – Disagree, no change

            Liked imagery of smoke from rockets – Agree

            Good suspenseful break (at end) - Agree

           

RWG female member –

            Good action, much clearer (than earlier writing) – Agree

            Writing vastly improved – Agree

            Add bigger description of characters – Agree, working

            Clarify who is speaker – Agree, working

            Identify men’s nationalities – Disagree, done earlier

            Describe speaker speech patterns – Agree, working

            Incorporate descriptors of men’s patterns – Agree, working

RWG male member –

            Heavy military interest – Agree

            Liked imagery of rocket smoke – no change

This wouldn’t have happened with an AEGIS ship – no change

Sailor’s delight – no change

Editorial change – Disagree, no change