BLOG POST 257

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 257

BAM 09 July 2018 critique comments

BAM member –

1.       Clarify how LC almost instantly goes to fireplace (What was the hunch?) – agree, will rework

2.       Provided a plausible scenario for detectives finding cookie tin – thanks, but overnight I came up with another scenario

3.       Explain how detectives came to conclusion coins were from Union payroll – a number of clues presented, via other detective’s efforts, results of meeting Germanna Foundation receptionist/historian, and location of civil war burial plots on deceased’s land

4.       Minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       Pretty good addition – thanks

2.       Why did LC go directly to fireplace, explain – agree, working

3.       Why would LC push in the damper – he’s curious, mechanically inclined

4.       How did Gephardt keep his home warm – agree, working on a cast iron, ceiling vented heater fed with corn pellets

5.       Specify dates of several coins – Disagree, too much detail and all “from before the war”

6.       Shield Arsenault from their discussion of Blatt – agree, working

7.       Show how obvious impression of Arsenault was dispelled – agree, working

8.       Numerous minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       Have Wills say something about the “pedal to the metal” - agree, working

2.       As no one is living in Gephardt’s home, correct fireplace use – agree, working

3.       Minimize repetition of process remarks, actions – agree, working

4.       Good edition, like how the story is proceeding - thanks

5.       Clarify when Wills and LC order their food (and he plays with his fries) – agree, working

6.       Minor editorial suggestion – agree

BAM member –

1.       Good dialogue - thanks

2.       Logical progression in detective story - thanks

3.       Detectives should wear gloves to touch evidence – agree, working

4.       Explain voice analysis – agree, working

5.       Minor editorial suggestion – agree

6.       Explain mention of “Germans” – The victim and his family are German descendants. There was previous mention of clues from Germanna Foundation, and of deceased’s family welcoming a WWII U-boat officer after the war

7.       Minimize use of exclamation marks - agree

BAM member –

1.       Good addition – thanks

2.       Explain about location theory as to third coin from list – agree, working

3.       Improve comment about “sleuthing among haunts” – agree, working

4.       Elaborate on condition of the two evidence coins shown to Arsenault – agree, working

5.       Clarify how/why Forensics documenting coins found previous day – putting into evidence chain, will improve

6.       Explain how coins and forensics connect – the techs identify, tag and photograph evidence

7.       Explain why rare coins are rare – agree, working

8.       Felt the task of checking all surfaces at Gephardt’s farm was formidable – Disagree; relatively easy to re-check surfaces for modifications (except for well, not yet checked)

9.       Why the emphasis on Germanic order - The victim and his family are German descendants. There was previous mention of clues from Germanna Foundation, and of deceased’s family welcoming a WWII U-boat officer after the war

10.   Why make a point about deceased’s worn fingers connected to mortar – it’s a big clue

11.   Numerous editorial suggestion – agree

BAM member –

1.       Upset by detectives not preserving evidence chain – agree, will specify use of gloves, evidence bags

2.       Minimize use of exclamation marks – agree

3.       Action good - thanks

4.       Explain how it was obvious one coin was sold – agree, will show as possibility

5.       Detectives should wear gloves to touch evidence – agree, working

6.       Minimize use of assess, assessment – agree, working

7.       Clarify when Wills and LC order their food – agree, working

8.       Correct use of “baby boomers” and “greatest generation” – agree, done

9.       Numerous minor editorial suggestions – working

Thus far my draft has reached 41K words and a working page count of 135.

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I’ve been spending a lot of time on Twitter of late, trying to add caustic, humorous, or background to the continuing drama in Washington, DC. I wrote a parody of The Element Song based on the drama of The Donald and posted it. Little reaction. All this extra activity increased my follower level briefly to forty-four, so I guess I’m achieving some notoriety. HUZZAH!

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I’ve spent some time recently trapping and releasing squirrels who seem intent on destroying our flower beds and planting unwanted acorns in the lawn. I term it recycling, as they are transported a distance away and released.