Completed reading Stieg Larsson’s successor
– David Lagercrantz first novel, The Girl in the Spiders’ Web. Proceeding
on to his second – The Girl who takes an Eye for an Eye. I highly recommend both.
Re-read David Baldacci’s exciting
novel (King and Maxwell series) The Sixth Man. Excellent read.
The first PROOF COPY had some visual
issues, so I resorted to the millennial son for revisions. He finessed it, and gave
me a
BILL FOR COVER ART SERVICES – Find
the work log below.
2/10 – 6 hours: reviewing materials;
2 hours: contemplation
2/12 – 5 hours: analysis and
reassessment; 1hour: update of program
2/15 - 3 hours: developing
procedures to facilitate cover production
2/16 - 4.5 hours: committee and crowdsourcing
of changes
2/17-.5 hours: altered dimensions
from 9" x 12.53" to 9" x 12.5"; .5 hours: wrote cheeky
email as apology for taking so long. I'll expect my check in the mail within
the coming month.
END
OF WORK LOG and BILL
I sent the revised innards and
outards to CreateSpace for their computer review. CreateSpace reviewed same and
said all things were copacetic. I then ordered a second PROOF COPY.
Given these exorbitant demands for
compensation, at an unquoted hourly rate, I have estimated that I must sell
hundreds of copies of THE NEXT ONE to break even
Or
go with a second mortgage. I appeal to your compassion – Buy my novel!
******************************************
And, of course, I’ve had that other
distraction of mine – TWITTER. Am over twenty-three thousand tweets at this
point and average between 28 to 32 followers.
And I’ve also been taking a
gazillion notes and putting them into a 69 page very rough draft of my next
novel. I’ve come up with the first novel of a detective series –
Murder and Mayhem –
Payroll
Deduction.
While acting as chauffeur recently I
drove my wife to BWI airport for a continuing education course she attended. I
did some local snooping and came across the National Electronics Museum. For
those staying near BWI it offers fascinating insights into the gear that makes communications, space research and
surveillance, hunting for submarines, aircraft and missiles – WORK!
BAM 05 March 2018 critique comments
Outside reviewer –
1.
Good addition –
thanks
2.
Revise awkward
description – “the machine guns of their day” – agree
3.
Revise awkward
use of “torrent” – agree
4.
Frequent use of
Johnny necessary, as this term referred to southern troops
5.
Revise phrasing
to be more direct – agree
6.
“Some in blue …”
good – thanks
7.
Reduce usage of
multiple modifiers separated by commas – agree
8.
Minimize use of
“the Sergeant” – agree
9.
“On both sides …”
excellent – thanks
10. Italicize song’s theme – agree
11. Clarify to whom Sergeant Krick gestured - agree
1.
Really good
addition – thanks
2.
Followed the
story well – thanks
3.
Correct awkward
sentences – agree, working
4.
Good descriptions
of scenes – thanks
5.
Standardize use
of repeater rifle nomenclature (Sharps vs Spencer – agree
6.
Liked analogy of
flies to musket balls - thanks
8.
Uncertain of need
to state carbine’s technical details – Sharps was a technological and tactical advantage
that South could not equal
9.
Clarify why, how
marching by Union troops “assaulted their senses” – the horror of war
10. Clarify the contrasting sounds of war from left vs right
flanks - agree
BAM member –
1.
Correct different
POVs in one paragraph, the clerk vs the Sergeant – agree, working
2.
Shorten long
sentences – agree, working
3.
Establish
location of action – stated as Union encampment near Salem Church in May 1864
4.
Felt
paragraph describing Union troops was awkward – will consider
5.
One
paragraph of sounds of war has overlapping similarities – agree, working
7.
Identify
who person is thinking of coffee – agree
8.
Uncertain
why Gettysburg mentioned – background to southern morale at moment
BAM member –
1.
Liked it actually
- thanks
2.
Unclear at first
that Billy Yank and Billy, Johnny Reb and Johnny were standard terms
3.
Questioned that a
coroner would throw up – agree, working
4.
Questioned
whether weather was shown to be hot and muggy – established earlier
5.
Improve awkward timing
of music from bands “over there” – agree, working
6.
Clarify origin of
voice describing directions to Wright’s HQ – agree
7.
Reduce use of “there”
in context of Union unit moving to find their objective – intentionally trying
to make it
8.
Minor editorial
changes – working
BAM member –
1.
Interesting story
– thanks
2.
Good job
with descriptions of scenes - thanks
3.
No written
comments
No comments:
Post a Comment