Tessera
Trilogy Blog
Post 237
The working draft of The Next
One now stands at 137 pages reviewed. This equates to a word
count of 58,000.
*********************************************
BAM 18 September 2017 critique
comments
BAM member –
1.
Lots of detail,
some not credible – agree, working
2.
Felt it
presumptuous that Maria was making B&B reservations – working to improve
3.
Not credible that
Drake got by police, suggested an alternative twist – agree, working (thanks
for idea)
4.
Numerous
editorial and punctuation changes –
agree, working
5.
Looking forward
to the boom - thanks
BAM member –
1.
Lots of action,
lots happening – thanks
2.
Too much
information, telling, then repeating – agree, working
3.
Tighten up sentences,
reduce extraneous words – agree, working
4.
Numerous
editorial suggestions – agree, working
5.
Eliminate either “no
place to hide” or “We can’t duck and cover” – agree, working
6.
Shorten
description of Bai “driving like a maniac …”- agree, working
7.
Questioned wording
of some descriptions – agree, working to improve
8.
Improve wording
of Maria getting rooms – agree, working to improve
BAM member –
1.
Yeah, great
buildup - thanks
2.
Minor editorial
change – agree, working
3.
Great tension at
the end - thanks
4.
Good continuation
of story, waiting for explosion - thanks
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