Tessera
Trilogy Blog
Post 229
The working draft of The Next
One now stands at 107 pages reviewed.
*********************************************
BAM 17 July 2017 critique comments
Sadly only one
person came to Monday’s critique session. The comments offered, however, were
very helpful. I plan a major re-write of the segment.
BAM member –
1.
Good continuation
of the story –
2.
Numerous editorial
suggestions – agree, working
3.
Had a hard time
sorting through numerous point of view shifts – agree, working
4.
Suggested
inserting a reason that will keep George and Bai from leaving their violated
home – agree, working
5.
Language in
dialogue felt stilted, awkward – agree, working
6.
Nice hook at the
end - thanks
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