BLOG POST 220

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 220

I’ve been very, very distracted by the news, trying to sort out the real, actual versus alternative, emanating from Washington. The conflict raises my anxiety for this country and our values. I’ve spent numerous hours reading and being depressed by the news. My reactions appear in another blog – please FOLLOW.

                        www.hopeinthecenter.blogspot.com

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The working draft of The Next One now stands at 74 pages reviewed.

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BAM 17 April 2017 critique comments

BAM member –

1.      Suggested cutting whole section of Bai at class and on campus – disagree, necessary build up for later action

2.      Minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

3.      Felt continuing discussion about George’s intelligence was overdone - working

4.      Felt referring to Saudi – “he’ll be a jerk” might be stereotyping – disagree, Bai was there (as was I) and stereotypes fit

5.      Suggested cutting paragraph of Bai sharing George’s humor – agree; working

BAM member –

1.      Correct POV errors – agree, working

2.      Confusion existed because I used italics to highlight foreign words, which this reader took as inner thoughts

3.      No tension, conflict between Bai and Maria – agree, coming soon

4.      Correct “tweets” to “texts” – agree

5.      Hoped tablet is important – agree; it is

BAM member –

1.      Good details and description of a character – thanks

2.      Good use of gender humor – thanks

3.      Good ending which made me want more – thanks

4.      The dialogue worked – thanks

5.      Need to see more about the tablet – agree, working

BAM member –

1.      Agreed with others comments about need to expand on tablet use - working

2.      Good flow – thanks

3.      Last page, on tablet, needs discovery - working

BAM member –

1.      No verbal or written comments