Blog Post 145

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 145

Authors – No new entries.

Local Authors – RWG member Suzi Weinert’s newest “Garage Sale Mystery” novel made into TV movie will appear on the Hallmark Channel in September.

Process – Progress, in terms of critiqued segments, stands at 25 percent.

BAM 20 April 2015 critique comments

BAM member –

1.       Liked look at kids point of view, fresh  – agree, working

2.       Liked reference of nickname to greeting  – thanks

3.       Reduce, remove clichés – agree, working

4.       A lot of promise – agree

5.       Liked use of kids rebellion – thanks

6.       Liked depiction of family caught between two worlds – agree

7.       Minor editorial changes – agree

8.       Identify age of kids - agree

BAM member –

1.       Hard to follow, too many characters interacting – agree, working

2.        Confusing shift of perspective – agree, reworking

3.       Minor editorial changes – agree

4.       Boys dialogue better – thanks

5.       Identify ages of kids – agree, working

6.       Has potential when character actions are more focused - working

BAM member –

1.       Too much teenage angst – agree, working

2.       Behavior of teens is chaotic – agree, working

3.       Minor editorial changes – agree, working

4.       Too much information given – agree, working

5.       Include an ending that ties to story – agree, working

BAM member –

1.       Confusing – agree, working

2.       Identify speakers - agree

3.       Identify ages of kids – agree, working

4.       Minor editorial changes – agree

5.       Liked Bai not wanting her brother to run away – thanks

6.       Is all the teen banter, name calling necessary – working

7.       Didn’t understand reference to Gonzos – agree, Muppets iconic character

BAM member –

1.       Couldn’t follow characters – agree, working

2.       Dialogue between kids good - working

BAM member –

1.       Reads well until page 2, but too technical - agree, working

2.       Minor editorial changes – agree

3.       Enjoyed kids dialogue – thanks

4.       Identify speakers – agree

5.       Clarify how this segment fits into overall story – agree

6.       Too rambling – agree, working

7.       Liked description of Mick and Mamo as M&Ms – thanks

8.       Show what is the conflict or tension here – working

BAM member –

1.       Interesting insight into Western vs Muslim cultural clashes – agree

2.       Identify ages of the kids – agree, working

3.       Enjoyed kids dialogue – thanks

4.       Didn’t think reprimand of Mick was appropriate in Moslem family – disagree, term is Muslim, not Moslem and Mick and Mamo are very distant cousins, not brothers

BAM member –

1.       Lots crammed in – agree, working

2.       Too much kid dialogue  – agree, working

3.       Minor editorial changes - agree

4.       Remove clichés – agree

5.       Didn’t understand “sorting hat” reference – disagree, Harry Potter and Hogwarts

6.       Liked reference to scanning of zebra stripes as UPC codes – thanks

7.       Clear up point of view conflicts - agree