Blog Post 145

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 145

Authors – No new entries.

Local Authors – RWG member Suzi Weinert’s newest “Garage Sale Mystery” novel made into TV movie will appear on the Hallmark Channel in September.

Process – Progress, in terms of critiqued segments, stands at 25 percent.

BAM 20 April 2015 critique comments

BAM member –

1.       Liked look at kids point of view, fresh  – agree, working

2.       Liked reference of nickname to greeting  – thanks

3.       Reduce, remove clichés – agree, working

4.       A lot of promise – agree

5.       Liked use of kids rebellion – thanks

6.       Liked depiction of family caught between two worlds – agree

7.       Minor editorial changes – agree

8.       Identify age of kids - agree

BAM member –

1.       Hard to follow, too many characters interacting – agree, working

2.        Confusing shift of perspective – agree, reworking

3.       Minor editorial changes – agree

4.       Boys dialogue better – thanks

5.       Identify ages of kids – agree, working

6.       Has potential when character actions are more focused - working

BAM member –

1.       Too much teenage angst – agree, working

2.       Behavior of teens is chaotic – agree, working

3.       Minor editorial changes – agree, working

4.       Too much information given – agree, working

5.       Include an ending that ties to story – agree, working

BAM member –

1.       Confusing – agree, working

2.       Identify speakers - agree

3.       Identify ages of kids – agree, working

4.       Minor editorial changes – agree

5.       Liked Bai not wanting her brother to run away – thanks

6.       Is all the teen banter, name calling necessary – working

7.       Didn’t understand reference to Gonzos – agree, Muppets iconic character

BAM member –

1.       Couldn’t follow characters – agree, working

2.       Dialogue between kids good - working

BAM member –

1.       Reads well until page 2, but too technical - agree, working

2.       Minor editorial changes – agree

3.       Enjoyed kids dialogue – thanks

4.       Identify speakers – agree

5.       Clarify how this segment fits into overall story – agree

6.       Too rambling – agree, working

7.       Liked description of Mick and Mamo as M&Ms – thanks

8.       Show what is the conflict or tension here – working

BAM member –

1.       Interesting insight into Western vs Muslim cultural clashes – agree

2.       Identify ages of the kids – agree, working

3.       Enjoyed kids dialogue – thanks

4.       Didn’t think reprimand of Mick was appropriate in Moslem family – disagree, term is Muslim, not Moslem and Mick and Mamo are very distant cousins, not brothers

BAM member –

1.       Lots crammed in – agree, working

2.       Too much kid dialogue  – agree, working

3.       Minor editorial changes - agree

4.       Remove clichés – agree

5.       Didn’t understand “sorting hat” reference – disagree, Harry Potter and Hogwarts

6.       Liked reference to scanning of zebra stripes as UPC codes – thanks

7.       Clear up point of view conflicts - agree

Blog Post 144

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 144

Authors – No new entries.

Local Authors – A fellow member of the RWG, Suzi Weinert, is having her third “Garage Sale” series of novels made into another Hallmark Movies and Mysteries channel TV movie.  It will appear on 11 April.

Process – The most recent Books A Million critique was extremely gratifying. I had taken just rough notes on a segment, which needed to be background in Kashan Kashmeeri, and winged it. I wrote it mostly from scribbled notes, then revised and tweaked it for a critique session. Because it was much more of an action segment it came across much better at the review.

Distractions – I discovered that my estimate of zoysia grass plugs needed to redo our back yard was seriously underestimated.  I will need to quintuple my previous order, and spend lots of time making holes in the back yard.

BAM 06 April 2015 critique comments

BAM member  –

1.       Very good, so much better than previous - thanks

2.       Liked use of Holmes and Watson character interplay  – agree

3.       One of your best  – agree

4.       Liked use of humor in dialogue – agree

5.       Good setting of scene –

6.       Kept our interest - agree

BAM member  –

1.       Really good - thanks

2.        Coherent, good flow - thanks

3.       Still too much detail - disagree, genre

4.       Suggest add description of missile damage to plane – agree, working

5.       Minor editorial changes – agree

6.       Well told – agree, working

BAM member  -

1.       Best segment - thanks

2.       Much better dialogue and narrative – agree, reworking

3.       Minor editorial changes – working

BAM member  -

1.       Well told - thanks

2.       Why didn’t the General know the story – disagree; personal observations, rather than mission

3.       Lots of suspense, peril - thanks

4.       Minor editorial changes - agree

BAM member  –

1.       Missed most of reading

2.       No written comments

BAM member  –

1.       Best yet – thanks 

2.       Remove duplication mention of motors running – agree

3.       Minor editorial changes – agree and disagree

4.       Suggested change to terminology for “deuce and a half” - disagree

BAM member  –

1.       Reads more clearly, best of recent - thanks

2.       Liked short, dramatic dialogue – thanks

Blog Post 143

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 143

Authors – No new entries.

Local Authors – I recently did some research on fellow Riverside Writers Group (RWG) members, and discovered quite a few have eBooks on the market. So I generated a Word document listing them all, along with their eBooks and the applicable ISBNs. I’ve recommended each to CRRL at their website’s Recommend a Title tab.

Process – Critiques are a necessary and extremely helpful part of the writing process.

Distractions – Those bright shiny distractions are out and about. They now include cleaning out the backyard pond and getting ready for Spring. Found a huge, dead and decomposing frog in the water, but the goldfish survived through another winter. It is now roughly eight inches long and I think it’s transforming into a koi, with a prominent white spot on its side.

Another big distraction has been building five birdhouses from scratch and mounting them.

Another distraction has been clipping apart and planting 950 zoysia sod plugs.

BAM 30 March 2015 critique comments

BAM Member  –

1.       Find a way to shrink to two pages - disagree, working to improve

2.       Too much detail – agree, working

3.       Minor editorial changes – agree

4.       Liked use of humor in dialogue - agree

BAM Member  –

1.       Better, but still to technical  – agree, working

2.        Got a better idea of characters – agree

3.       Stress uncertainty, tension – agree, working

4.       Much improved - agree

5.       Minor editorial changes – agree

6.       Compress dialogue – agree, working

BAM Member  –

1.       Smoother, easier to follow, but narrow market – agree, working

2.       Very detailed, many acronyms  – agree, reworking

3.       Enjoyed this time - agree, working

4.       Some dialogue very good - thanks

BAM Member  –

1.       Better reader appeal  – agree, reworking

2.       Shorten, use hints rather than detail - agree, working

3.       Use look backs - agree, working

4.       Minor editorial changes - agree

5.       Explain “Insha ’Allah” – agree

6.       Uncertain what TR meant – Trouble Report noted above – disagree

7.       Suggested removing tag about General’s face – disagree, foreshadowing

BAM Member  –

1.       Much better dialogue– working

2.       Minor editorial changes – disagree

3.       Didn’t understand “national controls” – agree, reworking

4.       Disliked use of “software weenies” – disagree

BAM Member  –

1.       No written comments – new BAM member

2.       Liked short, dramatic dialogue – thanks