Blog Post 120

Kashan Kashmeeri – 

Word count stands at 60 K, and page count at 119.  The monthly meeting of the Riverside Writers Group is this Saturday, so I have to polish another segment to read for critique. The critiques of first reviewer, before the RWG review, are shown below:

Minor editorial suggestions – agree; in process

Change style of language used, make less direct and colloquial – agree; in process

Revise to have dialogue bring out feelings – agree; in process

Develop each major character’s being separately from others – agree; in process

Reduce unnecessary wording – agree; in process

Suggested wording changes  – agree; in process

Improve dialogue as to and fro, vice responses to one – agree; in process

Use more body language, jokes, teasing – agree; in process

Describe the heat at Camel Race more clearly – agree; in process

Identify speaker –disagree; evident from flow of dialogue

Rewrite paragraph to make intent more evident – agree; in process

Minor word changes – agree; in process

Improve lead-ins to paragraphs - agree; in process

Very good use of facial expressions– agree; in process

Improve description of the King’s eye contact – agree; in process

Improve cheeky dialogue – agree; in process

Progress is slow, but encouraging.