BLOG POST 251

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 251

BAM member –

1.       Seemed like I’d heard the recording used before – you had, multiple interviews recorded

2.       Clarify the confusion between use of recording vs Deputy Smith speaking with detectives – agree, working

3.       Clarify attribution of speakers during use of recording – agree

4.       Show how LC be came indirect in questioning – agree, working

5.       Flowed well, but order seemed off

6.       Numerous editorial suggestions – agree, working

BAM member –

1.       Use full name for Fredericksburg – agree

2.       Show how Blatt’s shop does not include Union memorabilia – agree

3.       Convert LC’s inner dialog about coin shop to dialog – working

4.       Expand explanation of detectives being there about a murder – agree, working

5.       Expand Blatt’s second offer for coin – agree, working

6.       Clarify what eyes dipping when speaking means - are a recognized tell of lying

7.       Unpack, expand impression of meeting with coin dealer – agree, working

8.       Show reactions to Blatt – agree, working

9.       Show more about Deputy Smith’s recording and phone call – agree, working

10.   Use of well seems an obvious red herring – working to improve

11.   The detectives get along too well – add more tension - working

12.   Minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       Story moving along – thanks

2.       Some unnecessary words – agree, working

3.       Clarify the confusion between use of recording vs Deputy Smith speaking with detectives – agree, working

4.       Annotate uses of inner dialogue, correct punctuation of quotes – agree, working

5.       Clarify how LC senses Wills is wary of Blatt’s responses – agree, working

6.       Clarify why Blatt may be in danger – agree, working

7.       Minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       Clarify attribution of speakers during use of recording – agree

2.       Clarify that three neighbors were interviewed – agree, working

3.       Clarify Deputy Smith’s inner dialog – agree, working

BAM member –

1.       Describe Blatt – agree, working

2.       Show Blatt’s movements, actions to explain suspicion of lies – agree, working

3.       Explain why LC chuckled to himself in shop – agree, working

4.       Clarify Blatt’s reaction at detectives mentioning a murder case – agree, working

5.       Too much for LC to deduce from Wills facial response – agree, working

6.       Reduce use of adverbs – agree

7.       Explain or show why LC thinks coin dealer involved in their case - agree

8.       Too early to zoom in on coin dealer – agree, working

9.       Interesting story - thanks

BAM member –

1.       Good continuation– thanks

2.       Minor editorial suggestion – agree

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As reviewers are aware, the theme of my newest novel, Payroll Deduction, includes the subject of gold coins from a Civil War Union payroll. Recently an 1854 $5.00 gold coin minted in San Francisco was evaluated as worth more than a million dollars.  This lends a bit of credibility to my novel.

See -  https://www.yahoo.com/news/man-told-rare-gold-coin-155929482.html