BLOG POST 253

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 253

BAM member –

1.       Advanced story, but interview narrative slows reader – agree, working

2.       Suggested including famer and assisting detectives names – agree, working

3.       Improve interviews with tension, clues to killer - agree, working

4.       Improve interviews, reads like documentary - agree, working

5.       Numerous minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       Use dialog to discuss Civil War history of Gephardt family – agree, working

2.       Identify farmer and assisting detectives by names – agree, working

3.       Reduce or summarize discussion of detective procedures – agree, working

4.       Show importance of the route Wills took to German foundation or delete – agree, working

5.       Add tension by inclusion of dramatic clues, even Neo-Nazi red herrings – agree, working

6.       Questioned whether character had already called Mrs. McCarthy – he, the lawyer, had not

7.       Minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       Good effort – thanks

2.       Reduce mention of recording app and business cards – agree, working

3.       Minor editorial suggestion – agree

BAM member –

1.       Good, liked story – thanks

2.       Eliminate recurring usage of same word - agree, working

3.       Numerous minor editorial suggestion – agree

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You can buy my books: The first two novels of the trilogy were published as e-Books. Kashan Kashmeeri and The Next One are available as Print On Demand. The novels of the Murder and Mayhem series will be available in 2019 as Print On Demand.

Available online through Amazon and other online book sellers. All my novels are available at The Book Exchange on Courthouse Road, Spotsylvania VA. Golden Gate and Sooley Base are in PDF format on CDs for use with Nooks, Kindles, tablets or PCs. Kashan Kashmeeri and The Next One are available as printed copies.

BLOG POST 252

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 252

BAM member –

1.       Pretty good piece – thanks

2.       Suggested have LC and MD move to office to discuss questions – agree, working

3.       Suggested removing emphasis on punctuation marks as “click bait” – Disagree, adds emphasis, reader interest

4.       Change newspaper meeting into a heated dialog, rather than a flashback – agree, working

5.       Clarify how LC knew reporter witnessed the meth lab explosion – agree, working

6.       Clarify why LC interested in meth lab explosion – agree, working

7.       Minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       Pretty good addition, feels like a doctor’s office – thanks

2.       Change last part of newspaper meeting into a dialog of heated discussion, rather than a flashback – agree, working

3.       Suggested that release of medical info was prerogative of next of kin – too technical a point to make, this is a murder case

4.       Questioned why LC turned off his cell recorder app – to create interest

5.       Use body language to emphasize tension between Wills and LC – agree, working

6.       Write out name of newspaper, vice FLS – will modify wording

7.       Clarify why LC interested in meth lab explosion – agree, working

8.       Minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       Good effort – thanks

2.       Change last part of newspaper meeting into a dialog of heated discussion, rather than a flashback – agree, working

3.       Overall well written - thanks

4.       Minor editorial suggestion – agree

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In some segments I’ve drafted the words as narrative, flashbacks, or summarized to stay within the five-page review criteria. After reviews I frequently have to re-write the segment into a longer piece and transition to lengthier dialog. Such is life!

In a recent BAM critique, a fellow BAM member observed that my wife and I looked like the stereotypical couple who grow to look like each other with age. Don’t know how to take that. Was it a compliment or an insult?

How we each write should reflect our own sense of style, not others. That is what makes us unique. Whether we’re good at satisfying readers is entirely a separate matter. As a writer I ignore critique comments in which reviewers suggest I modify my style to be more like their concept of writing. I more regularly accept editorial, grammatical, flow and POV issue suggestions, but some few criticisms cut at my sense of authenticity. Those activate the disagree button.