BLOG POST 249

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 249

BAM member –

1.       Introduce more tension, conflict between characters – agree, working

2.       Suggested removing remarks about wills being electronic, held by lawyers – working

3.       Remove lengthy description of LC’s ‘office’ – disagree, working

4.       Shorten identification of caller to LC as being sheriff - agree

5.       Minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       POV consistent – thanks

2.       Change ‘stone’ to read ‘headstone’ in section describing Civil War burial plots – disagree, previous sentence uses ‘headstone’

3.       Change “lingered’ to ‘commented’ – disagree, does not agree with intended meaning

4.       Minor editorial suggestions – working

5.       Reduce description of ‘office’ as LC’s home – agree, working

BAM member –

1.       Pretty good addition - thanks

2.       Rethink cultural reference to Monk – agree, working

3.       Minimize use of LC to start sentences – agree, working

4.       Add more mystery (tension) – agree, working

5.       Consider dropping third person remarks – will consider

6.       Questioned lengthy description of LC’s ‘office’ – agree, working

7.       Questioned use of section describing Civil War burial plots – agree, working

8.       Clarify why LC rolled his eyes as Wills jiggled her car keys – because her driving habits were scary

9.       Numerous editorial suggestions – agree, working

BAM member –

1.       Good continuation – thanks

2.       Minor editorial suggestion – agree