Tessera
Trilogy Blog
Post 134
The working draft stands at 154 pages, with over 30 having
been reviewed/critiqued at this point. There seems a lot to be done, and truth
be told most of the rest has serious revisions to be done. A good portion is
very dramatic, action dialogue which needs just a tweak to be accurate
tactically. With a projected publication date a year away I feel getting a final
novel ready is doable.
The process continues to be taking segments of five or less
minute reading time to either the writers group or the informal Books A Million
sessions. I continue to find some of the reviewers like a particular aspect of the
segments (say dialogue, description of setting) while others pan them. In
either case the revised segment, as read, gives perhaps the best feel for its
final acceptability to potential readers.
The Lake of the Woods (LOW) Book Fair in late October didn’t
work well; the potential customers were older and clearly not interested in
reading an eBook. I’ll have to identify and connect with a younger crowd – age
or attitude – to succeed.
The Culpeper Library Local author’s event two weeks later went
pretty much the same way, although each author got to introduce him/herself. No
sales of my CDs with first two novels for watache.
The Porter Branch reception for Local authors in early November
went better. I sold one CD with the first two novels, and captured a number of
author business cards and suggested they join RWG.
I met a WWII vet who served on USS Antietam (CV 11). He said
he experienced two kamikaze attacks that were so horrific that the CO ordered
Abandon Ship. The crew refused to leave, saved the ship, and the rest they say is
history. My older brother Dave later (1960s) served on Antietam in the Med.
BAM 17
November 2014 critique comments
BAM critique member –
1.
Nicely done – agree
2.
Good phrasing describing
Paris - agree
BAM critique member –
No written
comments
1.
Good flow - agree
2.
Made too great mention of
getting to Paris - working
BAM critique member –
Dialogue very good – agree
Paris reference drags a little – working
Suggested incorporating tension, drama –
working
Suggested minor editorial changes – agree
BAM critique member -
1.
Good banter between
newlywed couple – agree
2.
It felt like the
‘Americanization of Anh’ – difficult character to portray
3.
Needs tension, anxiety or
hint about coming drama - working
BAM critique member –
1.
Good domestic scene of
husband-wife banter –
2.
The banter introduced info
– agree
3.
Good job – agree
4.
I felt the love - thanks
BAM critique member –
1.
Liked banter between couple
–agree
2.
Suggested minor editorial
changes – agree
3.
Suggested putting singing
in italics – agree
4.
The back and forth
dialogue, playfulness, and smart aleck remarks makes reading flow smoothly-
agree
5.
Didn’t understand the title
– disagree
BAM critique member –
1.
Asked whether we knew
meaning of terms gumshoes, spooks - working
2.
Suggested spelling out CBS
at first use – agree
3.
The newlywed dialogue works
well – agree
4.
Suggested minor editorial
changes – agree
5.
Suggested lead in before
mention of Amir’s job - agree
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