Blog Post 130

Tessera Trilogy Blog post 130

The working draft of Kashan Kashmeeri now stands at 144 pages, 73K word count.

The Books A Million (BAM) critique group met on 22 September. The following suggestions were received:

BAM member  –

1. Uncertain if ‘cousins’ are interest or a factor in story – disagree; will evolve

2.  Liked use of asshole and ‘bless his heart’ – agree

3.  Talk between main characters and their emotions good – agree

4.  Well done, good writing – agree

5.  The happiness of Anh and Tooley comes over well – agree

6.  Suggested change ‘expected attendees’ to ‘guests’ - agree

BAM member  –

1. No written comments

2.  Enjoyed story and conversations – agree

3.  “Bro’ used too much – will consider

BAM member  –

                1.  Good dialogue – agree

                2.  Increase the tension, conflict – agree; working (this is a slow part of story)

                3.  Suggested a word change - agree

BAM member  –

                1.  Acknowledged female and male character writing styles – agree

                2.  Good conversations, dialogue between characters – agree

                3.  Wants to know where ‘cousins’ talk is going – disagree; it’ll happen

BAM member  –

                1.  Good flow and conversations – agree

                2.  Did not associate Anh as an immigrant – disagree; covered before

                3.  Enjoyed cultural references and details – agree

                4.  Questioned need to ‘agree to a (cab) fare – disagree; customary when multiple passengers

                                share a cab

                5.  Disagreed with underlining ‘Mutaawah – disagree; emphasis by female character

                6.  Enjoyed use of ‘didn’t even have to train him’ - agree

BAM member  –

                1.  Lots of Arabic culture  - agree

                2.  Misses more action, progression – agree; working

                3.  Too many exclamations used – agree; working

                4.  ‘Cousins’ thing is weird – disagree; will evolve

                5.  Why was ‘Mutaawah’ underlined – disagree; emphasis by female character

                6.  Suggested minor punctuation change - agree

BAM member  –

                1.  Good writing and story – agree

                2.  Moved too slowly – working, but is a slow part of novel

                3.  ‘Cousins’ not clear as to use – disagree; will evolve

                4.  Names mentioned too often – disagree

BAM member  –

                1.  Didn’t ‘get’ cousins discussion – disagree; will evolve

                2.  Wanted to know the setting – disagree; covered earlier (Arabia, Bahrain)

                3.  Good cultural scenes (He was in Arabia one year) – agree

                4.  Well written – agree

                5.  Unbold several abbreviations – agree

                6.  Excellent - agree