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Thursday, December 25, 2014

BLOG POST 136

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 136

I expect that very few, or none, of you will read this blog post, so I can say pretty much what I want to. Most of my time of late has not been consumed with writing, but with the everyday distractions of life.

Writers Group meeting - At the 13 December writers group gathering there was plenty of food, non-alcoholic drinks, and cookies, cakes and pies. Music set the mood, several songs song by musician members, and a group sing-a-long was enjoyed. Readings also were part of the event and I read a parody of Twas the night before Christmas. Fun was had by all – and there were no calories.
Root for the Home Team! Prospective successes were suggested based on scheduled “Local Author in the Lobby” events scheduled at two successive branch libraries on 03 January and 18 January 2015. I hope to sell CDs with my first two novels on them.  I continue to campaign with local writer groups and authors about the lack of local author support by our local library system. While the library spends $10,000.00 a year on eBooks, only one of its 73,000 eBooks is by a local author. For those eBook authors in our neck of the woods that is a damning fact that disproves local library support of local eBook authors. 

UMW Alumni gathering - I went to a University of Mary Washington event in Fredericksburg, VA – to network. Among the evening’s events was a wrapped goofy gift exchange. I brought a CD with my first novels on it, double wrapped. A wonderful woman thanked me several times when all was over and I described to her the contents of her present – my novels. Her photo is on my Facebook page.

Future detective series - As part of research into a future detective based series I’ve begun reading the grand jury transcripts from the Ferguson Missouri death of an unarmed black by a white officer. I’m looking at the procedures involved and the effort is proving very instructive. Stay tuned for Payroll Deductions – in about 2019.

 “Don’t you ever forget how you made this stuff (Mac and cheese).” Nancy P. Gerhard-Rowe, my wife, said this in December 2014 as a compliment to my cooking skills.

Major distraction - One of the big distractions to my writing bears sharing. Researchers occasionally come across a story which is so compelling, so gripping and real that it overshadows and captures the moment. One such story came to light recently, one that shattered the image of a person of some family stature. The facts in that story, in those documents, shined a spotlight on the clay feet of that individual.

Those documents uncovered a true story that was breathtaking, surreal. Things were not what they appeared. There had been a hint to this real truth. The documents in question had been legally kept from view by some mysterious unnamed person.  One could surmise from reading the designation of ‘confidential’ that there something was amiss, that if the story of those documents became public there would be some consequence. The fact that those documents were, upon request for them, officially termed “confidential” and therefore “cannot be disclosed” sat for almost twenty years amongst the cobwebs of my mind.

Recently those documents were requested again, and after spending a small amount for stamps, envelopes, and a $5.00 copying fee, they came through the mail. I felt blessed, but shocked by what those documents revealed. They were the perfect basis for a prize winning novel. The documents dripped with drama, deceit, love, rejection, fear, hatred, and compassion, a struggle for money, image, and control. There was a “bad woman,” “women of ill repute,” and a home wrecker who was put “in trouble.” The facts addressed an inheritance stolen, and a crippled woman defrauded of a huge sum of money. The story included a mother beaten in front of her children and threatened with death.  There were lawyers and orders to show cause, hearings and witness statements, all in a tone and in an age before women could even vote – and the wife filed for the divorce.

The story was perfect with non-fiction as the genre, but its elements, characters, and setting were the stuff of fiction. It has been said that truth is stranger than fiction. This was the case. The outcome was not what one could envision in terms of a story told on the Hallmark Channel. There was not the redemption of a Scrooge character, nor any expectation of warm background music. This was a dark story, rending a family asunder. A family with four children was traumatized. One of the children testified as a witness in these WWI years, in a rural small town in an eastern American state.

I felt I had to share the story, or parts of it. I had to decide who to tell, and who not to tell. I decided some few should be told; others who had too much invested in the status quo I decided could not be told. There might yet remain some living individuals who had been involved in getting those documents designated “confidential” and “cannot be disclosed.”

Yet the documents were factual, facts in a legal sense. There were also very messy, out of character for the times they occurred in, and could be considered controversial and inflammatory by those who had heard quite a different story. Yet here were facts, the legalistic summary of a family torn asunder.
I’ll have to spend time analyzing these facts, trying to discover or guess what other unnamed witnesses were called, what they said based on what they saw or heard. Perhaps it is the stuff of another book, or several. And the question they raised remains – Does the apple fall far from the tree?


As of 09 December 2014 Kashan Kashmeeri stands at 160 pages, 80K words. Much work ahead.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Blog post 135

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 135
BAM 08 December 2014 critique comments
BAM critique member  –
1.       OK, realistic conversations – agree
2.       Still does not like that Anh does not show an accent – disagree, my characters, story
3.       Uncertain about Amir “soon he’ll be a handful” - disagree, Amir and Munirah have daughter
4.       Liked paragraph describing troubles with new baby – agree
5.       Said ‘nice paragraph, but then noted – “yawn” – conflicted notes???

BAM critique member  –
        1.  Good, but where is the plot – disagree, James Michener took hundreds of pages to set scene
        2.  Minor editorial changes – agree
        3. Asked if the (characters) were using ‘yackety yack’ – disagree, others enjoyed.
        4.  Suggested identifying who was speaking at page three – agree
        5.  Suggested identifying example of prior bad flight experience – agree, working

BAM critique member  –
1.       Confused as to whether novel is action novel or domestic bliss expose – disagree, will evolve
2.       Wants to read, hear of what sorts of things Saud princes did to get in trouble – agree, working
3.       Thought some of dialogue was “too inside the beltway” – disagree
4.       Waiting for action – agree, working

BAM critique member  –
        1. Characters too abstract – working
        2.  Reveal, describe characters more quickly – working
        3.  Minor editorial suggestions – agree and disagree
        4.  Clarify use of “coastal” air near airport – agree
        5.  Clarify use of OUTUS – agree

BAM critique member  –
1.       Suggested change reference to “people are starving in Chine’ – disagree, refers to previous
Childhood comment from Tooley’s Daa (father)
        2.  Minor editorial changes – agree
        3.  Suggested spell out USEMB as embassy – agree
        4.  Suggested improve “dirty diaper pail” analogy – agree, working

BAM critique member  –
1.       Suggested minor editorial changes – agree
2.       Loved use of ‘baboo’ – agree
3.       Thought use of ‘yackety yack’ was cute – agree
4.       Suggested identifying speakers on page two - agree

BAM critique member  –
1.       Asked about previous bad flight experience – agree, working
2.       Liked conversations, but asked if they moved the story along – disagree
3.       Suggested changing “up” to “in the upright position”– disagree; comparable to yada yada
4.       Asked where the story is going – stay tuned
5.       Liked last paragraph, except first sentence (“dirty diaper pail” analogy) agree, working
6.       Suggested describing previous bad aircraft experience – agree, working

BAM critique member  –
1.       Suggested minor editorial changes – agree
2.       Questioned ‘coastal’ air mass at altitude – agree
3.       Questioned use of ‘tour’ to describe assignment – disagree; former USN and now CIA


Author James Michener wrote many novels. Among them were Hawaii, Chesapeake, Poland, and others with lengthy narrative parts leading to the action portions. His love of narrative led not to dumb stories, the parts were actually the underlying interconnected stories of love and life. We only need to see and feel the pieces to enjoy.  This encapsulates my feelings about balancing narrative with dialogue, storytelling with character led action dialogue. Since I am not in this writing novel business to make money I can write as I see fits the need, as every author worthy of self respect has done.