BLOG POST 263

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 263

BAM October 2018 comments

Hiatus – one BAM member remarked that I’d be sued, or should be. Not very supportive.

Research into Spotsylvania County School system and the fictional ability to pose as a student to uncover drug dealers.

Met and talked with source for over thirty minutes. Helpful, informative, even provided some suggested avenues required to validate a phony student’s ability to go undercover.

“NO GO” in my notes

*************************************

Thus far my draft has reached 53.1K words and a draft page count of 179, of which 82 have been reviewed.

BAM 27 January 2020 critique comments

BAM member –

1.       Numerous, helpful editorial suggestions – agree, working

2.       Correct POV issues – agree, working

BAM member –

1.       Numerous helpful editorial suggestions – agree, working

BAM member –

1.       Good continuation– thanks

2.       Minor editorial suggestion – agree

*************************************

Thus far my draft has reached 59K words and a draft page count of 193, of which 65 have been reviewed.

BLOG POST 262

BAM 10 September 2018 critique comments

BAM member –

1.       Show how Mrs. Weatherly was warned – agree, working

2.       Questioned how Weatherly could be aware of newspaper article – she reads

3.       Felt dialog about talking with HS principal was weird – working

4.       Show Weatherly’s reaction to the statement about deaths at meth lab – agree, working

5.       Clarify why Collins said the address of PR head – to show she’d researched the woman, to intimidate her

6.       Questioned whether reporter would “illegally” enter school or blackmail the PR head – fiction

7.       Did not believe newspaper has tens of thousands of readers –

8.       Reduce duplicate mention of voice level changes – agree

9.       Questioned why Mrs. Weatherly rose – to make a point physically

10.   Questioned veins in hand pulsing – agree, working

11.   Felt Collins’ leverage was weak, and thought Weatherly tell her to f765 off

12.   Minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       Not sure this scene would work. PR head would call FLS editor and ask reporter be fired – had edited out a paragraph with editor shown as solidly behind story

2.       Felt if reporter personality was this strong, determined she might not even approach school officials and just go undercover with a disguise – agree, may change back to that approach

3.       Change name of sub-division and school – agree

4.       Confused by reporter mention of male and female source – reporter trying to be evasive, protect source

5.       Minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       Was uncomfortable with use of actual county, sub-division and school names – agree, will change sub-division and school names

2.       Felt county should give permission for use of its name – disagree

3.       Dialog a lot better – thanks

4.       Improve introduction scene – agree, working

5.       Felt it not credible that a reporter could sneak into school – disagree

6.       Felt reporter or writer might get sued if permission not given – moot question beyond scope of fiction novel

7.       Felt PR would be livid that a reporter would be this threatening –

8.       Suggested mention of hall passes – disagree, enough procedural restraints identified

9.       Questioned why reporter mentioned where PR head lived – to show she did her homework

10.   Minor editorial suggestions – working

BAM member –

1.       Name the reporter – Already identified in first sentence

2.       Reduce use of adverbs – agree, working

3.       Felt description of veins in hand pulsing was not believable – agree, working

4.       Wanted use of insure, vice ensure – disagree

5.       Why was it important for reporter to say all stories would cite anonymous sources – to show that reporters protect sources

6.       Numerous minor editorial suggestions – agree, working

*************************************

Thus far my draft has reached 53.1K words and a draft page count of 179, of which 82 have been reviewed.