Blog Post 133

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 133

Have been thinking about which efforts are most valuable in terms of focus and ‘at the moment action.’ Should I concentrate on preparing segments for RWG review and continue to refine the characters, plot, and timeline of action in Kashan Kashmeeri … or should I research and try to capitalize on e-marketing avenues?

Should I concentrate on recycling bicycles and computers for the local refugee community? These questions are rhetorical, as I seriously doubt any of you out there care one wit. It’s hard enough to even get my children or stepchildren to read, let alone respond to emails. Must be a generational thing. Should I even say this … will they read it and get upset? Doubt it! A bit of frustration just came out.

On the e-marketing side I’ve revised my Yahoo and Gmail email signature blocks based on the suggestions of a recent Riverside Writers Group guest lecturer/author signature. I’ve also joined a writers group titled Book Blogs – http://bookblogs.ning.com/ , and the indie writer support group - http://indiewritersupport.com. Will have to see what if anything develops out of these attempts. I plan to broach the subject of not being able to give FREE copies of my novels to public libraries. I can’t believe how stupid that sounds … libraries not accepting free books.

As an alternate marketing approach, based on a suggestion from a fellow RWG member, I burned CDs with copies of my first two novels and made them available at theannual Parade of Prose.   

At the recent RWG meeting I actually sold a CD with Golden Gate and Sooley Base burned as PDF files. See https://www.scribd.com/book/196782721/Sooley-Base and http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/golden-gate-dp-tolan/1108014956?ean=9781618427670

Things looking up. I’m about to participate in a Lake of the Woods (LOW) Authors’ Book Fair https://www.lowa.org/Lake-Living/Clubs.aspx , a similar event at the Culpeper County Library, and a similar Local Authors event at the Porter Branch http://www.librarypoint.org/porter of the Central Rappahannock Regional Library (CRRL) system.

From the LOW Book Fair several ideas synthesized. Audio books require an investment of at least $2500.00 according to a fellow writer, unless you personally record the book. Amazon apparently has an audio books division and rumor has it if an author has audio files will market it free, and provide 70% royalties. There are several free audio recording software programs and this might be a future marketing idea … given enough time. Second edition versions of both novels would be required. Another idea that sprang forth was to take a Nook, with the two novels on it, to future Book Fairs to show how easy it is to read them.

I’ve friended several RWG guest speakers also, and one, Kimba Dalferes, responded and provided invaluable tips to improve my blog’s utility, and ideas to improve my evolving email signature. http://indiewritersupport.com/profile/KimberlyKimbaDalferes Thanks Kimba.

Another segment was critiqued at a Books A Million review meeting 20 October 2014. The comments are shown below as part of the writing process.

BAM reviewer –

1.       We (readers) can see the scenes – agree

2.       Minor editorial changes – agree

3.       Use of ‘spouse’, vice bride, in announcement seems phony – agree

4.       Questioned Anh having no accent, poor English – disagree; covered in previous segment

5.       Questioned whether Romans conquered Ireland – agree, but Celtic/Irish tribes fought the Romans in Wales – (see Golden Gate)

BAM reviewer – no written comments

1.       Finally got the marriage over with – agree

2.       Change ‘spouse’ to wife or bride – agree

BAM reviewer –

3.       Felt I was skimming surface of story, suggested more tension – agree

4.       Clear, covers lots of ground – literally – agree

5.       Increase tension, plot – agree, working

BAM reviewer -

1.       Suggested spell out VN – agree

2.       Asked where B&B cottage was – disagree; to remain a mystery (County Meath)

3.       Make a connection/link to perils – agree

4.       Big gap between first mention of finances and discussion – agree

5.       Suggested use ‘monochromatic’ vice brown to describe Saudi Arabia – disagree

6.       Rewrite “You’ve got that right” as confusing – agree, working

7.       Good dialogue on page 3 - agree

BAM reviewer –

1.       Minor editorial changes – agree

2.       Suggested spell out PDA – agree

3.       Not exciting enough – conflicted; it’s a wedding

4.       Anh too American – disagree; grew up in California

BAM reviewer –

1.       Suggested describe meal – working

2.       Suggested minor editorial changes – agree

3.       Suggested describe ‘medieval’ character of banquet – agree

4.       Enjoyed humorous parts – agree

5.       Liked flow – agree

6.       Add more color, flavor to ceremony – agree; working

7.       Reword ‘garter retrieval’ - agree

BAM reviewer –

1.       Enjoyed descriptions of environment and ethnic background – agree

2.       Increase or improve dialogue – agree, working

3.       Questioned Saudi man shaking a woman’s hand – conflicted, but explained in words

4.       Liked way religious police custom was shown - agree

BAM reviewer –

5.       Questioned whether this was friction – dunno how to address this. I said it was in part creative fiction

6.       Liked the humor – agree

7.       Minor punctuation suggestions – agree

8.       Liked description of Ireland – agree

9.       Suggested greater expansion of Saudi cultural differences – agree

10.   Suggested spell out PDA and VN - agree

BAM reviewer – no written comments

1.       Asked why identified Best Man and Maid of Honor again – agree

2.       Feels like you’re setting things up, but leaving enough detail to pull reader in - agree

BAM reviewer -

1.       Questioned whether Catholic Priest and Buddhist monk would share a wedding – disagree

2.       Asked why identified Best Man and Maid of Honor again – agree

3.       Excellent story, reads well  - agree

4.       Make better connection to purpose – agree, working

http://www.archaeologyuk.org/ba/ba14/BA14FEAT.HTML - The question of Romans in Ireland continues to be debated. 

Blog Post 132

Tessera Trilogy Blog Post 132

       October RWG meeting Open Mike and Flash Fiction reception

No written comments were taken, but the audience response was very positive, and in the Flash Fiction category I took fifth and sixth places.  My readings were all comedic, and were a solution to writers block … and a need to do something different.  The two Flash Fiction readings follow:

War Bond Drive

I’ve taken my ideas, my characters, the settings, the actions, the intrigue - from real and imaginary life. One story survived from an older first cousin, Frank. He served at the Battle of the Bulge, probably as a result of this incident. He was the assigned driver for Captain Henry ‘Hanz’ Rittershoffer as he went through our country on a WWII War Bond drive. Hanz served in the Hat in the Ring Squadron in WWI with American Ace Eddie Rickenbacker  ... Hanz an Ace also.

There was a brief introduction on the stage of a small Episcopal seminary near Mobile, followed by gentile applause from the ladies in their day dresses lounged in the front. It was an all lady lecture today, the men away at war or the mills, shops, or factories.

He began by telling them he’d share how it was to live through it all, then said he’d end by telling of a very thrilling encounter.

He described at length the airfields in France, of flying back to his base, low … struggling to find where it was at times by following a road or from the lingering direction of the sun’s glow. He told of tents, cotton cots, mess hall meals, smelly latrines and other features which lingered live in his memory.

He next described the aeroplanes he flew, bi wings with guy wires and wooden struts, and fragile fabric covered wings. He noted that all had smaller engines with much less horsepower than the cars they drove to this War Bond Drive.

After twenty minutes of memories he recounted, as promised, a squadron aerial encounter. “It was with the squadron of the German Red Baron, Manfred Von Richtoffen. We flew our biplanes out of the fog in line abreast and encountered them over battlefields above eastern France. It was an ominous sight which made our blood run cold. There were Fokkers to our right, left, above, and below. The sky was dark with Fokkers.”

My cousin abruptly took the microphone and spoke. “I apologize ladies for what might seem crude remarks. Let me explain. Fokkers are a type of German aircraft.”

Captain Rittershoffer grabbed the mike back … and spoke. “Yes, but these Fokkers were Messerschmitts.” 

  

Sitting Ducks

 … by DP Tolan

The sky above provided the barest of light

Few stars saw what came, or what went

There were just two trails lead to where we crouched

One sleeping, one watching

Water waited nearby, a stream burbled with nature’s laughter

Beyond the leaves of a tree, a green light now flashed, unwelcome.

I saw movement there, below and to the right

It was not a small creature, not one with four legs

The figures bent, carrying something in their arms

They wore hats, and by the light I saw they wore

Clothes which blended into the leaves and brush

I could detect no scent, the wind at our backs

My chest thumped, nerves racing

My heart rate edged upwards with fear

It was felt this was a place where confrontation, even death stalked

I knew Rules of Engagement applied here … but

We were here first

It is our place. We control it … for now

We must reposition … silently, swiftly

We can move without being detected

Before they approach and detect us

What are their intentions?

My eyes scanned for further motion, there was none.

Their voices sounded, softly, clashing with the night’s silence

A twig broke … and we knew these were not creatures, but enemies

‘They’ moved closer … our pulses quickened

    

We rose, sprang forth

I sounded an alarm, signaling others that ‘they’ were near

Quack, Quack!   

Besides loud applause and audience smiles, four RWG members approached me after my performances and said very nice things about them. I gave a five minute, standup comedy routing for the Open Mike event, equally well received.